Cards Against Humanity

The best card game ever created. The stuff of dreams and nightmares alike, and the only *true* way to know if your friends are sociopaths

We've got time and Wifi, who's down for Cards Against Humanity ?

Human Shock Absorber

One who is repetitively kicked in the stomach with subsequent gut-wrenching anxiety while remaining upright and wearing a fake smile. AKA: the college years.

My friends were amazed that I survived the human shock absorber years and earned a friggin’ piece of paper. Not even parchment. Yay for me.

sexual human caterpillar

a sex position in which all participants face one direction and fuck from behind; to have sex in one line

Yesterday at the orgy, I experienced the almighty sexual human caterpillar.

Let’s try out the sexual human caterpillar tonight!

Human Washing Machine

A man who makes weird noises believing in fact, he is a human washing machine.

Is that a human washing machine in your house Dan?
Nah.
Don't lie to me Dan.

Letters to human beings

you can always approach me
i will like it
im older now
and there are issues because of it
but knowing that

youre older too
helps

you can always approach me
i know i am in another world
sometimes
but i can easily be brought back
talk to me
nicely
and true
i will be your friend

you can always approach me
i am alone
cant hang with many
so if you want to touch
make it our language
only we know of
and into this language
put everything you have been meaning
to tell me for so long
but couldnt
i will know

from "Letters to human beings", p84-86

Human Bottle Rocket

Human Bottle Rocket

Step #1:
Person 1 places funnel in Person 2's mouth.

Step #2:
Person 1 then pours a gallon (1.75 L) of water down the funnel slowly.

Step #3
Person 2 lays down on the ground.

Step #4
Person 1 fits a falice speculum into the urethra of Person 2

Step #5
Person 1 pours melted wax into the gaping and waiting urethra of Person 2

Step #6
Person 1, then puts a wick into the melted wax making a candle.

Step #7
Person 1 lights the wick and waits for Person 2's urine to build pressure sufficient to forcefully eject the candle from his own urethra.

Step #8
Enjoy the light show

My ex lured me into trying a Human Bottle Rocket. Never again

Human Boredom Syndrome

When a human is so bored of doing something productive it is called 'Human Boredom Syndrome' (AKA HBS). People usually get so bored that they do something satisfying.

Human Boredom Syndrome (AKA HBS) is when a human is so bored they Spam "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" for the fun of it or move something back and forth/side to side for entertainment.