Turtle shelling

What happens when you hold your poop for too long. When you finally sit down on the toilet, you let loose only to realize that it may have been on the verge of popping out, and that you probably had less time to wait than you thought.

John: "Bro, Sidney was over for 6 hours last night and I had to shit so bad!"

Steve: "Damn, son. Did you drop a deuce with her at your place?"

John: "No, but I was turtle shelling it like a mothafucka. Almost shat everywhere."

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turtle body

A significantly obese person, usually a woman. So named for their inability to rest their arms parallel to their bodies, and their shuffling walk.

If they were to fall on their backs, they'd likely be unable to get up.

"So, you think there'll be any hot chicks at that Def Leppard tribute band's concert?"

"Well, there's guaranteed to be a turtle body or 20."

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Turtle Jerk

Turtle Jerk is when someone is giving a handjob and covers the head of the penis so when the male ejactulates cum wont pray all over. It's named after the handforming a shell, as in turtles having shells.

Be smart Sandy, Turtle Jerk me. I mean, this is a new couch.

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turtle fucked

when a group of people are sitting around a table, playing a drinking game and one person slams down one bottle of beer on top of the another.bottom of one beer is slamming on the neck of the other beer...causing the beer to foam and the owner of the beer drinking a lot

chris leans over and slams his beer on garrett's and yells "turtle fucked!"

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turtle pond

when you fill someones mouth with cum so much it looks like a pond, your teeth are the turtles

last night i gave your mom a turtle pond

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turtle mode

The mode in which your balls shrivel up simulating a shell, hence "turtle".

Ex: It's so f*cking cold man! I'm in turtle mode right now!

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Turtle Heading

When you lightly push your anus to see if what is coming is just a fart but then you realize it's actually a poop and the tip of the turd begins to come out just like a turtle sticks its head out of its shell to check its surroundings.

Emma: Damn I thought I just had to fart but when I was turtle heading I stained my underwear.
Emily: I told you not to push that hard, now we have to buy you new undies!

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