I'm real

a song by jennifer lopez, a very fine woman. the song itself is in fact not good, however the artist is HOT!

"oh man did you see the music video for I'm real? i got an erection after that"

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i'm so blown

If you get rejected by a girl, "I'm blown." If you are on a date and piss your pants, "I'm blown." If the wind blows dog shit in your face, "I'm pretty blown." If you're walking and you run into a tree, "I'm blown."

If you're walking and you run into a tree, "I'm so blown."

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I'm smart today

A phrase used by people when they say something stupid. Usually as a sarcastic excuse.

Caleb: "I'm sorry what was your name again?"
Jen: "I've just told you I'm Jen"
Caleb: "I'm Smart today"

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god is god, i'm not.

Made famous by Beyoncé on her "Don't Hurt Yourself" music video, "GOD IS GOD, I AM NOT" actually means that if god forgives, I don't, which was the context of the song itself (Beyoncé was mad in her song, singing about how he cheated on her).

Boy: Forgive me, I swear I will change.
Girl: God is god, I'm not.
Boy: You are so selfish
Girl: *BLOCK*

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I'm Right Here

A more succinct and civil way of telling someone that they are speaking too loud.

"YO DAWG DID YOU HEAR ABOUT-"

"Shhh. I'm right here."

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I'm allergic to shrimp

I'm allergic to small dick

jenny: "doesn't your boyfriend have a small dick"
kim: "yeah i'm allergic to shrimp"

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I'm the Mommy that's why!

This is a phrase a mother uses to assert herself over her children. In one simple sentence she shows dominance over her offspring and reminds her children that she does does not have to explain herself or her decisions to them.

This is a phrase used by a mom when her child...
A.) Has done something wrong and mom is telling him or her to stop.
B.) Is about to do something wrong and is caught and mom tells him or her not do it.
C.) Is asking for something and Mom says, "No!".

In all of these instances the child would more than likely repeat this phrase, "But why"! In the beginning the mother may say, "Im the Mommy that's why", but usually the mother will say no several times until she feels like she going to explode.

(In the grocery store)

Little Joey: Mommy can we get donuts from the bakery.
Mom: Not today sweety
Joey: Please Mom
Mom: No, Joey, not today.
Joey: (Starts to fake cry) Its not fair, you never get me anything.
Mom: Thats not true, stop with the fake tears and a big a boy or youre going to be in trouble.
Joey: (He raises his voice) Just tell me why, mommy. Why cant we get them? Why?

Mom: (Mom lowers her voice into a growl and gets close to Joey face) I'm the Mommy that's why!

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