Turtle Heading

When you lightly push your anus to see if what is coming is just a fart but then you realize it's actually a poop and the tip of the turd begins to come out just like a turtle sticks its head out of its shell to check its surroundings.

Emma: Damn I thought I just had to fart but when I was turtle heading I stained my underwear.
Emily: I told you not to push that hard, now we have to buy you new undies!

6👍 11👎

Shy Turtle

When one of your close friends acts shy around you for no appearent reason

Make a fist, Poke your thumb out of the middle of the four fingers and slowly withdraw it.

"Sonny sits at our table everyday but doesnt say shit"
"Thats a shy turtle"

Make a fist, Poke your thumb

12👍 48👎

Turtle Time

Turtle Time is a secret area located on a small moon. Turtle Time is a building that is in the shape of a turtle. Tourists are welcomed to discover the turtle statues inside the building. The turtle statues contain alien guts inside.

Dave: Hey have you heard about that cool place called Turtle Time?

Bob: Turtle Time? What’s that?

Dave: It’s a building in the shape of a turtle! Duh!

5👍 17👎

turtle doving

Butt fucking on the Delaware boarder, as made popular by that twangy Bama song. Anyone with a dick and an asshole can turtle dove, although fags have made the term most popular.

You went turtle doving on the Mason-Dixon line last night?

Yep, I butt fucked him right there on the Delaware boarder.

12👍 57👎

Turtle Bunny

A woman with a very attractive Body, but a less than desireable face.

That guys girlfriend is a Turtle Bunny

3👍 9👎

The Ninja Turtle

A sexual act where one person bends there index and ring fingers. Then proceeds to pleasure their women.

I can this one the Ninja Turtle.

3👍 9👎

Turtle Duck

the turtle claws punk cousin who jacked the turtle claw mans claw, who later paid for his actions

I, the turtle claw man, vows to go through any length to get my claw back, even if it means DEATH TO THE TURTLE DUCK!!!!!

2👍 5👎