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Family Jewels

Family Jewels is slang for a man's penis and testicles, which are important for having a family and also for sex. The sperm is stored in the testicles! Also, getting kicked in the family jewels hurts a lot!

Bully: Eat dirt!

Bobby: That's my purse! I don't know you! *kicks Bully in the Family Jewels.
Bully: Ahhhh!*Collapses to the floor.

by HawaiianPunch1 April 13, 2023

40๐Ÿ‘ 4๐Ÿ‘Ž


Family Fux

When family member's are attracted to each other & fuck each other for pleasure!

After Chad's divorce he married Kiersten's mom so they could have a 3 way Family Fux!

Chad likes his cousin Jim's big cock and they occasionally get together for a Family Fux!

by SlopNChop December 25, 2016

58๐Ÿ‘ 5๐Ÿ‘Ž


Blended Family

Anyone after their latest marriage that looks at their children and realizes they have half-siblings, a biological sibling, and step siblings, is a blended family.

Victoria had such a hard time with her family photo at show and tell day. She could not get the other children to understand who was who in her blended family.

by Miss Lizzy Blizz September 4, 2009

97๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


F is For Family

A netflix original where Frank Murphy constantly threatens to put his dumbass kids through that fuckin wall.

Kevin: Dad I got an F on my reports card. Frank: I swear to fucking god kevin I didn't almost bleed out Korea for you to get an F im gonna put you through that fuckin wall. That's what F is For Family is about

by Frank Fuckin Murphy January 24, 2020

31๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


family reunion

A euphemism for winding up back inside since prison has provided some with the only family they will ever have.

My sentencing is scheduled for tomorrow and I suspect I will wind up having another family reunion as a result.

by Dr Bunnygirl October 3, 2019


Modern Family

A TV show about a family.

Jay, and old rich man, is married to a young, Colombian woman named Gloria. Gloria has her own son named Manny. (Jay would be Manny's step-father)

Jay does have two kids if his own: Claire and Mitchell.

Claire is married to a real-estate agent named Phil. Claire and Phil have three kids: Haley- the oldest. Alex (girl) is smarter than Haley and Luke- the youngest who is quite dumb like Phil.

Mitchell is gay and has a partner named Cameron. Now, obviously, since they are both men, they can't have their own child. So the adopted a Vietnamese baby named Lily (she's about 5+ now)

Kid: Did you catch that episode of Modern Family last night!

Kid 2: YES! It was awesome- Cameron is totally my favorite!

by CriminalMinds01 July 10, 2014

77๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Instant Family

A situation where an individual moves in with a new spouse where there is a child from a previous relationship. In most cases this is particularly with a single mother. See baby momma.

Person 1: "Did you hear? Chris moved in with Jessica and her kid."
Person 2: "Wow, talk about an instant family!"

by Penix January 19, 2009

33๐Ÿ‘ 3๐Ÿ‘Ž