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Fort Covington, NY - it's a town just as redneck as it sounds. With one street light, one gas station, one grocery store and one pizzeria, there are plentiful action-packed things to do and see for the 32 people that live in this podunk town. Fifty percent of the locals are above 70 years of age and have never left the town...even for a vacation. The other fifty percent are two-teethed rejects of life that spread their legs for money and live off the welfare system. Yes, this place sure has its charm. Well, no one comes to visit, and those who pass through it barely noticed. The stench of cow shit in the summer may have gotten a passerby's attention, but for the most part - only Indians make their way through Fort Covington, only to go to Canada and smuggle huge amounts of stank weed into the country for double the price. Ahh, the beautiful cow country, dirty Salmon River, and muffin topped ladies pushing strollers of rugrats down Route 37. This town is the pride of the North Country, for sure.
A driver and passenger are cruising down Route 37 and spot a road sign for Fort Covington up ahead.
The car's passenger waits 5 seconds and asks if they had reached the town yet.
But the driver says to the passenger, "Dude, we passed it four seconds ago. Didn't you see that nasty fat bitch licking a custard outside of Leroux's. She's the town judge."
15👍 4👎
A suburb of Chattanooga, Fort Oglethorpe is poorly planned with only one main road that cuts through the entire city. The traffic jams could make walking home faster than driving.
The city seal is, for some odd reason, a unicorn on a blue background.
The quickest way to get from Chickamauga to Fort Oglethorpe is to cut through the park.
15👍 4👎
A gay, pro-LGBTQ+, liberal faggot who loves raping turtles in his free time just because of the sound they make.
Person 1: "Hey man, how's the party?"
Person 2: Not good, Liam Fort showed up."
8👍 1👎
An itty bitty hell hole of upper middle class crackers who think they are gangsters even though their moms still pack their lunches placed in Northern
“Hey have you been to fort thomas?”
“no and i don’t plan on going”
7👍 1👎
Fort Frances is a small town of about 7500 in Northwestern Ontario. It rests right on the border of the United States with a bridge connecting it to International Falls, Minnesota. Not a whole lot happens here except the Fort Frances Canadian Bass Championship every July but that has gone for a shit in the last few years. Other than that there is really nothing else to say.
Jimbob - "Went to Fort Frances last weekend."
Tedford - "How was that for ya?"
Jimbob - "Meh"
24👍 8👎
One of the shittiest places anyone will ever encounter in their whole life. Nobody fuckin likes it here, and if you say you do - you're lying! Who you kiddin??
For those of you men looking to get laid, keep looking. There are no women at Fort Irwin and the ones that are here fall into one of the following categories: fat and ugly, pregnant, or an alcoholic.
However, there is an AWESOME night club on base - Cock Wave, I mean, err Shock Wave! It's a cluster fuck of sausages and intoxicated soldiers who hate their lives because they are literally signed to a contract saying they must either live at Fort Irwin, or blow your brains out.
Once in a rare, rare while, you will meet someone who actually enjoys living in the fuckin desert. This person is automatically a douche bag and probably hasnt enjoyed much of anything in their life. If you ever meet this person, please tell them to go "fuck themselves" and keep moving.
Friend 1: "I feel so bad for Bill, he just got orders to Fort Irwin."
Friend 2: "Wow! That really sucks. I heard its the worst place on Earth."
65👍 28👎
Let’s mosey on over to Fort Worth, Texas where the cattle roam the great open plains.
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