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A town with nothing to do...
Joey please don’t doubt me, we live in boring Lansing, Illinois
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Malden, Illinois is a mythical town with one deranged resident. It is a figment of its creator's imagination. Malden is not real, nor does it have a zip code.
Malden's sole resident: "Let's go back to Malden, Illinois!"
Friend: "No, not this again.."
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Du·Quoin (Do-coy-n)
Noun
1. A fictitious place where things that don't happen anywhere else in the world are the norm.
2. The social dwellings of creeps
Things that don't happen anywhere else include
1a. Intense Stalking
1b. Car drivebys (not shootings like in the city, rather stalkings)
1c. Town rivalries
Synonyms: "The Dookie"
She is from The Dookie and her life is not real.
Is this a Sitcom or are we watching DuQuoin (Illinois)?
Forget Laguna Beach, DuQuoin is the new gossip town.
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Geneseo, Illinois is a shit, rancid white town full to the brim of religious nut jobs, tyrannical retard cops, and a druggie underworld. Ironically; the druggies hold, albeit inconsistently, the highest level of awareness regarding social issues. There are more churches than gas stations, the schools are indoctrinating with low curriculum and neurotic egotists as administrators/instructors - and there are about four black people. The wealthy, self-entitled cock busters that roam the streets are the states' pride due to their ability to throw a ball and praise Jesus, passively dismissing the intellectual downplay as a result.
The pigs can't tell their dope from their bud, the white girls all vie for attention like cock-deprived wildebeests, and any attempt at reasonable discourse will be construed as a school shooting threat.
Guy 1: So, what's the most unpleasant environment you've traveled through?
Guy 2: Geneseo, Illinois. By god, if I'd stayed for more than two minutes, I swear I'd be pounced by Bible thumpers or the pow-leec. Fuck the pow-leec.
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Come on vacation
Leave on Probation
Officer I was just visiting family in Quincy. Is the beating and prison really called for because of a failure to signal?
Have you seen those b-movies where the hot girls go through the small town and get arrested for trumped up charges and forced to do hot late night kinds of things. That's Quincy, Illinois only to everyone hot or not and no cool sex to speak of unless your consider the reaming you get at court.
Yes could I get the Johnny law special with no lube please.
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The second-largest city in Illinois, Rockford serves as host to all the negative characteristics of a big city without the benefits. Overwhelmed by crime, drug addicts, and terrible schools, Rockford is surrounded by "podunk" towns and "the boonies" that mooch off the local mall and movie theatres. Rockford has nearly 7 exits off of major highways and has 3 walmarts, considered quite an midwestern accomplishment. Also the self-declared "screw capital" of the world, Rockford doesn't have much to look forward to other than failing factories and a dying reputation. Rockford is the biggest "small town" you will ever experience.
*Driving past Rockford, Illinois on Interstate 90
"Oh look, there's an exit for rockford? Should we stop?"
"No."
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Beverly illinois is a kickass place where a chick named stephie lives. she is super awesome and goes thrifting and hangs in parks and stuff
sometimes stephie rides her bike around sketchy parts but then she's okay dont worry!
Beverly is where cool people in cool houses lives
some guy photographed these sweet houses and they are in the Chicago Cultural Center right now!
WHOA! did you see that stephie girl? she's like hanging in parks and stuff and rolling around on her bike with thrifty things around her! THATS BEVERLY FOR YOU!!
stephie and her brobro Tboy are the epitome of beverly illinois CLASS.
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