Help Wanted

A type of sign that most businesses place in clear view of prospective applicants, despite their inexplicable desire not to hire help for any reason.

What the good goddamn is wrong with that restaurant? I applied to them four times in the last three months and they haven't called back yet, but that fucking "Help Wanted" sign is still up there!

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Hope This Helped

A phrase used at the end of a horeseshit answer to make it sound helpful

User 1: Please help me my bf and I had sex and he came inside me and I think I might be pregnant please help!
User 2: If you don't wanna get pregnant, wear a condom. Hope this helped!
User 3: ew why would u ask this question on yahoo answers you disgusteng ideot!

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helping hand

Assistance given to someone who becomes tired while providing a handjob.

While Dick Cheney was giving me a handjob, but was too tired to continue, I took hold of his wrist and gave him a helping hand. The helping hand provides a somewhat similar experience and sensation to the Stranger in the Night.

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help vampire

A term used most frequently by chat room programmers for blood suckers who aren't interested in the functions or inner workings of a solution but rather the end result. They normally mask themselves in chat rooms pretending to ask for "help."

helpmeplzzzz: Hai guyz, can u make me a dropdwn script? idk javascript and I dont like teh 1s online!!!!!
ExpertJsProgrammer: @helpmeplzzzz Stop being a help vampire and go learn JavaScript.

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help myself

Avoid some situation or thing

I can't help myself when you put your hands on me.

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help computer

1) Being in disapproval.

2) Something random to say when a little african boy is about to be owned by a dog.

1) ...do you want a bacon sandwich? ...I'm a fucking Help Computer!! Do I look like I want a fucking bacon sandwich?!?!

2)doo doo dooo dooo... ahh hell nah, whats up dog *dog growls* "HEY KID!!"
"I'm a computer!"... "HELP COMPUTER!"
*kid rambles on about computers*

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help me

The word that you say when you're in 5th grade and you read the Urban Dictionary Page about 6th grade.

Urban Dictionary page- All your friends really don't like you, and you either turn into an emo or a slut.
5th grader- hfs HELP ME.

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