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Identification: Guatemalan Mantises (guat mantids) are among the nastiest hood rats found in the general population. Adults range from 5 to 6 ft long, are dark, & usually brown, or yellowish (jaundice-drug or alcohol use). The females have big boobs & big front arms consisting of long jagged nails to attack sexual competition & random hoes. The male tends to be tatted, drunk & high on drugs. The vernacular/tone of this mantis consists of yelling & belligerence. Their large heads can rotate about 180 degrees & have large, bulging eyes. The term “Praying” comes from a common occurrence of vomiting on the weekends.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Heard your friend George married a Guatemalan Praying Mantis. I hope he’s ready for a life of misery, craziness and isolation.
The act of spraying salt water in the mouths of your fellow churchgoers in an effort to prevent coronavirus.
For maximum effect, send a prayer to Jesus that the boomer remover won’t come get ya.
Lily: Yo, did you hear about the church in South Korea that tried to spray and pray?
Jack: Yeah. And they got the fucking coronavirus because of it.
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Praying furiously fast and with great earnestness. An Australian expression. In Australia, clappers were bird scarers that ran around like mad things.
My mate had to be rushed to the hospital this morning. Pray like the clappers for him!
When u spray a girl with water and chase her with your penis as if you are the predator and she is the pray
Jimmy: I have to spray and pray the demon
Jannit:the fuck are u doing
Jimmy: Rarwww!!! Attack!!
Jannit: oh shit!! Run!! Not your penis!!
Jimmy: rarwwwww!!!
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he/she rocketed to the moon, soon after i got down on my knees to pray!
she loved it when i got down on my knees to pray!
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OK...we all know that a female praying mantis bites the head of the male after the have sex. So a reverse praying mantis is when your wife/girlfriend bitches at you "biting your head off". Then later when she has cooled down and horny she wants to have sex.
Man my chick was bitching like crazy yesterday. Its ok though because she pulled a reverse praying mantis
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Elyse. A freakishly long specimen.
Troy: “did you see that praying mantis today?!”
Gertrude: “are you serious?! That was Elyse’”
A praying mantis is very long, like Elyse, the human praying mantis.
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