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To make sweet sweet love to a couch
"I had such a rough week. I'm ready to go home, break out the latex gloves, and have a good old-fashioned vance."
To have sexual relations with an inanimate object in a very precise, meticulous manner.
Phil don't need no girlfriend. He vances his roomba Friday nights. He only needs a blanket, a couple sandwich bags and a charged up roomba and and he's good for the weekend.
Motherf*cker vanced my vacuum cleaner last weekend and now the floor sweeper's all f*cked up.
Vance is a really good guy he is athletic smart kind and knows how to put a smile on every single face he meets. you should keep Vance in life and you will go along way he’s loyal and won’t be a dick. If you wanna relationship with a Vance it’s the best relationship we will ever be in a little tip they love the cute summer couple vibes watching the stars watching the sunset watching the sunrise going for a late night drives and all that kind of stuff.
“Vance”
“What’s up”
“Your super sweet funny and athletic I don’t ever want to lose you”
“Awwww thanks”
Vance (verb): To have carnal relations with an inanimate object, particularly furniture such as a couch or sectional.
I wouldn't sit there - John just vanced that chair.
Oh my God Becky, that guy is vancing in the Ikea showroom!
Bob, that couch is dead sexy. I want to vance it.
To have sexual intercourse with an inanimate object.
Do you think the muffin man has vanced one of those muffins, or does he just like them the normal way?
A slug-ish fem-boy with little to no motivation.
I have a friend who is a vance.