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The act of pouring maple syrup into the rectum, then emptying your bowels into the Stanley cup. Then, while wearing moose antlers atop the head, dip your balls into the Stanley cup. Then Stephen Colbert kicks your ass at ice skating.
Dude, I was so wasted last night I brushed up on Canada's History, now my underwear is all sticky.
8đź‘Ť 13đź‘Ž
A long time ago, an Alien named Jean Claude flew down in his spaceship shaped like a baguette, and deposited a race of souls called "Canucks" into a Canadian Moose the size of Alberta. J.C. bombed the moose, and parts of Canucks flew all around the most northern section of the America's.
Nowadays, souls of Canucks roam the countryside in smaller parts of the Moose. In their ethereal form, they often resemble a red maple leaf. Symptoms of Canuck-infestation often include gloating about one's healthcare, ignorance of the cold, occassionally letting an absurd "eh" follow your questions, and in the most extreme cases, total transformation into a fully grown "Mountie". These half-Maple leaf half-moose creatures spread Canadianism about the land.
"Wow, that Canada's History is Crazy!"
8đź‘Ť 13đź‘Ž
A "Canada's History" is a slang term in the American English language used to describe an act of a sexual nature which is regarded by many to be one of the most vile sexual acts in the history of sexydom. To "Canada's History" someone, one must first acquire a fire extinguisher. The fire extinguisher must then be carefully inserted in to an acceptable orifice of a clown using applicable lubricants. The clown must then be carefully lowered in to the major orifice of a large mammalian animal of adequate scale. Any mammal will do, but it must be a warm-blooded animal at the very least or else the clown will run the risk of hypothermia. This act, when successfully completed, is not unlike a turducken of the culinary world, but should never be confused with "blowing up a turd locker," which is a much different act all together, if not similar in execution.
That clown got the Canada's History all the way in to the bowels of that walrus!
- or -
Last night, Ann Coulter took the Canada's History all the way (fictional Ann Coulter).
7đź‘Ť 11đź‘Ž
Verb
1. Inserting your penis and scrotal sack into a woman or man's anus while gargling maple syrup. Meanwhile using your right hand to masturbate your partner and your left hand to pleasure your anus with moose antlers
Dude: Look's like you had a rough night brah
Other Dude: Man you got no idea, someone gave me Canada's History last night, the whole enchilada.
Dude: Sounds boring brah
Other Dude: -_-
7đź‘Ť 11đź‘Ž
A British colony's government walks into the Queen's office. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the Queen, "We have a really amazing act. You should let us govern ourselves."
The Queen says, "Sorry, I don't let colonies go. They're a little too cute."
The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to let us govern ourselves."
The Queen says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
The father starts to decribe the act by saying "First I come out on stage with my naked daughter in my arms. Then my wife comes out naked carrying a unicycle. I take our daughter and stick The unicycle up her ass."
The shit starts to come off the wheel of my uniclycle, flying all over the stage and even on the first few rows of the audience." "That`s right" the father says. "Then I start to fuck my wife in the ass when my son comes out on stage with our dog". Then the son says "I start to make our dog`s dick hard by sucking on it. When it`s nice and big I let him fuck me up my ass." The daughter continues "I get off my cycle and start to deepthroat the post I just had up my butt"
Then says the father "We all piss on the floor mixing shit, jizz, pussyjuice and urine together which we lick up, cleaning every speck. When it`s all clean we stand up, hold hands, smile and take a bow".
For the longest time, Queen just sits in silence. Finally, she manages, "That's a hell of a government. What do you call it?"
And the father says, "Canada!"
And thats how Canada's History came to be
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When Stephen Colbert sends you, you listen.
Stephen: Go make a definition of "Canada's History" on urbandictionary.com.
Anna: OK, Stephen
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Canada’s History is a bold and unsurpassed when it comes to upholding dignity and honour. During Canadas infancy the newly joined colonies of the United States attempted a takeover of what was then Upper Canada. Canada brought an end to the temper tantrum of its spoiled infantile brother to the south, by lighting a match and setting the American white house ablaze, while stating “Don’t Tread On Me....Bitch!"
Not to be confused with the deviant sexual act “Canada’s History” performed south of the Canadian border, which includes the use of Hockey sticks dipped in Maple syrup, moose antlers and the unwilling participation of an American Bald Eagle. It has been said that this sexual act was made popular by the famous television personality known as Stephen Colbert. Pronounced (Coal-Bert) provided you’re not an effeminate male from the Carolinas.
When you look at Canada’s History with the United States you can easily understand why participants of this sexual act would name the act “Canada’s History” Given the royal ass beating they recieved from Upper Canada.
Said the American Bald Eagle, "Canada's History?, My ass!"
To which Colbert feverishly replied, " Exactly!!"
Not to be outdone the moose chimed in "SUCK IT STEPHEN!"
7đź‘Ť 11đź‘Ž