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An Eli is a total spazz who excels at taking extreme amounts of shit from his friends. An Eli may physically shake and rattle uncontrollably, making simple tasks like tattooing or touching a woman difficult, if not impossible. Due to his unrelenting self-doubt, a chain-smoking Eli lies like a politician, moves like a lizard, and smells like Gold Bond sprinkled in an ashtray. An Eli will often earn the nickname Rattlehands or eLIE. When being reprimanded by a boss or partner, an Eli will stare into the middle distance and robotically reply “I understand.” Once an Eli crosses through the lonely plains of anxiety, rejection and shame however, he’ll grow a thicker skin, stop crying in public, and learn to ignore the endless ball-busting like a pro. An Eli is at heart a good dude, but his inherent weirdness and inability to communicate like a normal human in social settings lead many to feel uncomfortable around him. This is a shame because once an Eli gains your respect, you will appreciate him being a part of the crew (that won’t stop an Eli from getting all the shit shoveled on him daily, however).
I asked Eli who broke the printer, and he claimed he saw Justin do it. Fucking Rattlehands strikes again!
Some kid who’s obsessed with paper towels and will shit there pants for a paper towel
Eli pooped his pants when he got that Paper towel
The guy that is very pale, cute, and you fall for without trying to. You’re best friend might disapprove, but mostly everyone will ship you with them.
“ Omg Eli is so hot”
“Zoe, all you do is talk about him”
smol wittle child that will never grow over 5'1.
Eli is a wittle c:
An amazing boy! Adorable, funny, a little shy, kind, has a good heart, makes u smile, and fun to be around. He has gorgeous hair and eyes. his laugh make you laugh. it may be hard for him to tell you his feelings but once he does you’ll love him for it.
leila: woah that eli is a cutie
lindsey: oh no he is mine
Generally a very handsome man. Don’t be fooled by his football player build; he is quite the bull in a china shop, but has a soft spot in his heart for all family and friends, and will stop at nothing to be there for them. An Eli is a jokester. He loves to make people laugh and be the life of the party. He will do daredevil acts to win the heart of anyone, especially a girl he’s set his own heart on. He is especially romantic, talented, and loves to have a good time. He will host a party for anything, and will be the most loyal friend you’ve ever had.
Man, I’ve never had a better Piña Colada than the one Eli throws together.
Eli sure knows how to have a good time.
I know an Eli; I’m in love with him.