Random
Source Code
Random
A boring, cultureless rust belt city in northern Illinois. The past 20 years have not been kind to Rockford and it is now a genuinely dangerous and depressing place to live. Anyone with enough education/common sense leaves as soon as possible.
The taxes, crime rate, unemployment and school system are some of the worst in the country. You have to be careful just driving around since the roads are so poorly maintained you can actually damage your car on a Baghdad-quality pothole.
If you’re an uneducated, unemployed sex-offender with a substance abuse problem who has given up on life then Rockford is the place for you!
Guy 1: "I want to live in a shithole with a church every 10 feet for some reason."
Guy 2: "Rockford IL is the place for you my man."
516👍 577👎
A town of 17,000 serving as the county seat of Williamson County in Southern Illinois. The town was originally a swamp, just like Orlando, again proving that "you can drain the swamp from the land, but not from the people." The town's mayor, Bob Butler, has been in office continuously since 1963 and is most likely a Federal plant, owing to the large Shawnee Forest National Park's collection of munitions, a General Dynamics Ordnance arms manufacturing plant which may produce as much as 30% of the nation's ammunition, a local FBI branch headquarters, and the United States Penitentiary, Marion (built in 1963) serving as a replacement for Alcatraz.
Other major employers (besides the Federal Government) include Pepsi MidAmerica, with a mansion for the owners, the reportedly "dickish" Crisp family, located directly behind the complex so they can more effectively lord over them; AISEN manufacturing where rednecks and Japanese collide in something resembling an imported game show; and several insurance companies, banks, and hotels, Marion acting as a traditional Midwestern pit-stop town between Chicago, St. Louis., Memphis, and other cities more notable and livable.
"When going to St. Louis, be sure to completely pass Marion, IL."
"I'm from Marion, IL, home to Marion High School where I learned to create a PowerPoint presentation."
10👍 6👎
Bruh iont even know I ain't ever stayed here I just gotta go through to get to somonauk but everyone on meth AND SOME WOACH GAVE ME CHLAMYDIA fuck you "heather" anyway don't fuck nobody from here or die fytb
(names are changed to keep personal info to ourselves)
Me-"bro heather gave me CHLAMYDIA"
Trey-"Where she stay at?"
Me-"Sandwich IL!"
Trey-"You dumb fuck everyone know you gotta double wrap or skedaddle"
Me- "she gave good head tho om"
5👍 2👎
Grosse Ile is a small island in the detroit river. its basically a bubble with a moat around it that blocks all the islanders from the rest of the world. Grosse Ile is known for its many country clubs, golf courses, and kids smoking at the playscape. it is pretty boring. if you dont live there or arent part of the 'high middle class' you're probably not welcome. ~_~
One time, we had a substitute teacher in Global Studies and he said he was disappointed because he "was expecting Grosse Ile to be like the Galapagos....you know....turtles and shit."
51👍 51👎
Okay, so yeah its true. We are known for MIP's and getting baked. So what else is new? Were just high schoolers who like to have a good time. If there's boo's and friends then it'll get crazy! Summer is the best time since we take the boat out and party on the river. If your up for the best crazy ass time, come here. Dont worry about getting caught for drinking, drugs, or speeding...the popo sucks.
Wanna go to Grosse Ile tonight?
yeah lets get baked and hammered!
Bitch we live on an island!
...you wish you lived on an island!
26👍 23👎
A town in NW Illinois, consisting of about 150,000 people. In general, there is nothing to do but smoke the refer, and get drunk off our asses. Rockford is pretty much known for having an incredibly high crime rate (partially due to the high unemployment). If planning to come to Rockford, make sure u come during a good time, like the Waterfront or Wing Ding, where you can watch people of all races come together in huge gatherings of drunkeness.
Best thing about Rockford: Hot Catholic School Girls Best thing to avoid: Mexicans, the West Side, Machesny Park, and Auburn High School
301👍 375👎