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The inventors of some of the most decadent things to come in the world such as the minivan, V-chip, ESRB and censorship.
Too bad the soccer mom doesn't exist so we don't have to deal with this useless shit.
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Mostly a white, dry pussy 30-50 year old mother who drives a "5 star SUV" to protect her so called "little angels" (meaning her children). With the stench of Happy Meals in her SUV, they can be found daily, picking up their children from school, the chess club, swim team, soccer practice, etc. Soccer moms are often liberal, and bitch about everything, from violent video games to when some one burps and doesn't say "Excuse me." Soccer moms can also be found in groups, which is called an oh shit.
Soccer moms pretty much worship their local public school, by attending all PTA meetings, forcing their little children to participate in all activities, and can always be found helping out at a school dance/play/concert/etc.
They are always against a war. No matter what the circumstance is of the war, there is almost always an oh shit in front of the White House protesting. A real soccer mom in this case would be wearing a shirt that claims her son died in Iraq; however, 65% of the time they don't even have a son at all, but just want attention.
Soccer moms also protest how the US doesn't care about America's youth. On some days, there would be a group of the protesters holding signs to stop DUI. Similar to the war protest, some soccer moms wear shirts that say their daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver. Again, she may not even have a daughter.
When at home, a soccer mom are on the phone bitching to her other soccer mom friends, saying how their husband is so mean and doesn't care about her because he works 18 hours a day. The real reason that the husband works so much is because his wife spends his salary on a new SUV, gas money, groceries, and sends donations to organizations such at the Salvation Army, Red Cross, and the public school fund raisers. When the husband is finally home, he isntantly gets his balls ripped off by his wife because he worked all day. Just wanting to sleep, he goes to bed and the soccer mom gets all emotional because he only cares about work. Every day, she would think of how well behaved her little angels are in school. Ironically, her "little angel" is in detention at that very moment in order to feel liberated from their mother.
Also, soccer moms always flip shit when they see a video game in which anyone could be harmed in anyway. This means for her offspring that they cannot play games like Mario Kart, Super Mario, or even a hockey game because there are fights in it. In her eyes, this is how the ESRB rating system is:
Everyone: ok
E10+: E13+
T: 18
M: 21
Movies are almost the same thing. They refuse to let their child watch a movie like Finding Nemo because of the fact that the mother dies.
G: OK!
PG: Not safe
PG-13: They should be ashamed of themselves for making such a good movie.
R: *protest*
Soccer moms also are not generally smart when it comes to being offended. For example, if they are watching a Wedding Crashers and see the part with the girls on the bed, they will be enraged at the cast and bitch about how the movie is basically a porn movie. But instead of turning off the movie, they keep watching it anyway and get more insulted.
Rinaldi burped aloud in the gym, vausing it to echo. He was then given a 10 minute lecture from a soccer mom on how he needs some manners. Being the dumb shit he is, he calls her a bitch. This resorted in a school conference about profanity in the schools.
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A matriarchical parental unit who's parenting ethos is based on rigidity, indoctrination, and denial of everything that would otherwise make its kids more independent. Also opposes video games, guns, and self-defense. Often supports globalism and "peace." Is against rugged individualism. Tries to "break" its kids of their individuality.
A cabal of child-abusing soccer moms tried to abolish fun and got themselves shot dead by an underground resistance movement of Right-Wing vigilante Goths.
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Usually, a white 35-40 year old women named Karen or Clare. The soccer mom will do anything for her kids, except give them freedom of course. She controls their friends, music, TV and games. Their little bitch kids (sorry, little angles) are always super Christian and are a mindless drone, like their father. The relationship between the mother and son only last 17 years, as the mom will come in and find her son nailing 2 girls. At this point, the mom is completely unsure as to how to react as they have only had sex twice. The relationship between the daughter and mother will last longer. It usually makes it another year before the mom walkes in and finds the daughter smoking crack or getting nailed by John who playes football. The soccer mom's life cycle is now over as her sole purpose has left her.
Man: *playing a song with the word "crap" in it"
Soccer mom: HOW DARE YOU PLAY SUCH VILE MUSIC- rants for 10 more minutes
Man: mkay who gives a fuck *turns up the music*
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married woman with children between about 6 and 10 who drives a large car such as a station wagon, and spends most of your time shunting her kids and kids' friends around. Often takes an active interst in the kids activities.
she used to be a wild one but now that she's got kids, she's become a soccer mom
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in short.....a soccer mom is some overweight, SUV driving bastard who is often found at your local GameStop or EB games, bitching about Halo 3, saying that it's too fucking violent for her kids. This is also the type of mother who drags her little 'angels' to mcdonalds to buy them a happy meal instead of paddling them and giving them what they deserve.
The're often seen at soccer practice in their gas inefficient SUV that are the size of a Panzerkampfwagen VIII. They are the reason, the ONLY FUCKING reason Kidz Bop(Douche Bop)
is still a successful franchise. Oh and let's not forget the fact that Ms. MarySue is the reason why most car accident's actually tend to happen on the road, and she'll be the one at the voting booth to vote for John McCain, therefore we can see that supports senseless violence and she wants to waste more of her hubby's hard-earned money by buying all kinds of bullshit. Oh and lets not forget about her bratty-ass children, Meg and Dean. Apparently Meg is gonna become a prostitute and Dean is gonna get himself nvolved with MS-13.
Some dude: *at the movies going to buy a ticket to go see A Perfect Getaway*
Some girl: Oh man, i can't wait to go see this movie.
some dude: me neither babe, me neither.
soccer mom: um, you cant go to that movie, you're not old enough.
some dude: im 18 and she's 17.
soccer mom: why dont you rent tickets to go see Aliens in the Attic.
some dude: omg i hate that fuckibg movie, it's for babies
soccer mom: *covers childrens ears* dont you say that word in front of my sweet little angels!!
some girl: lets make-out.
some dude:*makes out with some girl*
soccer mom: OHMYGOODNESSSTOPTHAT!!! come on kids we're leaving!!!
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Definition #45 portrays very well how the "Soccer mom" lives/acts.They have that "better than you" attitude.Most enjoy the thrills of the filthy pirate and fish eye.
But that can be a good thing.
That prim n'proper soccer mom got hit with the filthy pirate!Dumb bitch!!
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