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The best guitarist in all existence.
This bastard puts the like of Jimmy Hendrix to shame.
He's also an amazing singer.
Legend says he defeated Salim shady, more commonly known as Eminem, in a rap battle.
Some say he uses great and powerful magics to enhance both his musical and otherwise talents to god like levels.
Keeping the company of itchy faucet, the best singer since time began and Spangler benchwarrent, debatably the best bassist since bass was invented, his skill and power disputed only by Mike Kerr.
Absolute unit of a man, brings in all the female attraction.
That Billy bagsagger Johnson is the coolest guy since Noah.
shower beer in one hand, Johnson in the other!
That was the longest Johnson coldhand ever man!!!!
A sex position where the female is put in the walls of jericho and brutally pounded
“bro did you hear? he put her in The Johnson last night”
A cult of boofers who hit the j and work out all day, they judge fellow members and the leaders suck each other off
The Johnson's hate on each other but suck each other off at the same time!
A way for people to name someone that has a large penis without saying so outright
"Hey girl, how wqs SGT. Johnson last night?"
A person who is the best at everything they does and has unlimited rizz
A raunchy johnson, otherwise known as "cock coiling", is when you take another man's growth, and give it an indian burn. Place both hands on his dick, and twist hard in opposite directions. After twisting his junk enough, he will then collapse in sheer euphoria. Rumor has it this is named after Dwayne the Rock Johnson and his furious sexual appetite.
Me: My girlfriend came over yesterday.
Juarez: Oh yeah? Did she give you a raunchy johnson?
Me: Yeah, my dick felt like it was gonna split in half.