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Not only is he the dude who mows my lawn, he is the world's most popular imaginary friend! Second only to Barney and Santa of course. But he is way too far out of their league to even be compared.
When Jesus Christ goes home from mowing my lawn, he gives Santa and Barney the old Mormon Fistbump.
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Jesus Christ is an imaginary person. He is also the main character of God's best-selling fictional book "The Bible".
Unfortunately, many cult members beleive Jesus Christ to be alive today, even though that would make him 2009 years old. Many cult members also beleive that Jesus Christ has magical powers; including, telepathy, teleportation, and telekinesis, among others.
person A : "Hey! I read this great book the other day! In it, some guy called Jesus Christ did all this crazy stuff! He can read my prayers and teleport!"
Person B : "Do you realise that Jesus Christ is a fictional person, and can't actually do all of the things he says he can?"
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is a manufactured person, someone that is acting like someone they're not. Since Jesus Christ had no children, calling someone a Jesus Child is referring to them as a fake.
"You ask me to change who I am for you, but when YOU look in the mirror you're just a Jesus Child."
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A Jesus girl is someone who likes to stare (maddog) at her coworkers. A girl who supposeably follows the law and rules of Jesus. Some who attends church religiously.
Jesus Girl at Ikon, Enuff said.
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An Alcoholic beverage containing Golden Grain Alcohol or Everclear 190 pf, Sprite and any type of Grade Soda
WARNING: This drink improves your ability to talk to members of the opposite gender exponentially. It will take you to heaven, but be prepared to wake up in hell.
"We had Purple Jesus at that Alpha Chi social last night, I slept with 2 sloots and made out with my best friend. The bartender said he's never seen such a blacked-out crowd by midnight"
"Purple Jesus took me to heaven last night, but it looks like I woke up next to Satan himself"
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People who claim to be christian, but are, in reality, attatched to an image of a man who, if he were alive today, would be committed to a mental hospital for claiming to be the son of God.
A group who would rather put tacky fish emblems on their car, instead of read the book that is supposedly their be all end all.
People who claim to know more about the world because of their relationship with someone they know nothing about.
People obsessed with an image of piety, rather than actually being pious.
Christians are ok, it's the Jesus Freaks that ruin things.
The stupid Jesus Freaks gave me another damn pamphlet.
I don't care if the Jesus Freaks think I'm going to hell, they're all idiots.
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insirting a crucifix into ones asshole and then forcing it out by taking a big old shit
after 10 minutes of caressing her brown eye with the lord, she realesed the sloppy jesus onto Norton's face
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