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jesus rock

Shitty, popcore "rock" "music," performed by marginally talented "musicians," for the purposes of:

1) Propagating skewed and fundamentalist beliefs to the ignorant and uninitiated;

2) Making shitloads of money

Yuppie Christian apologist shitheads force their halftarded children to listen to jesus rock in lieu of spending time with them.

by c0q_m1x3r July 13, 2004

19πŸ‘ 16πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

A fictional character from the Imagination Land episodes of South Park. Who, inadvertently, is quite the sharp-shooter with an M16.

Jesus Christ killed all the bad imaginary people with his M16.

by Scoggins March 1, 2010

67πŸ‘ 38πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Freak

1.) Someone willing to lay everything down for Jesus
2.) A person who is not afraid, by any means, to publicly profess to anyone that they love Jesus Christ.
3.) Being who is not ashamed to be persecuted for the Lord that they believe in.

I don't really care if they label me a Jesus Freak, because you can't disquise the truth.

by Raina March 9, 2005

189πŸ‘ 212πŸ‘Ž


Jesus

The Son of God. Nuff said.

Popular biographies:

Gospel of Matthew
Gospel of Mark
Gospel of Luke
Gospel of John

Jesus: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength... Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these." (Mark 12:30-31)

Humanity's Response: "Crucify him!" (Luke 23:21)

by South Pacific Brother November 9, 2017

1πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


Jesus

your, savior. He came down to earth to pay the price for your sins. He loves you more than you could ever imagine, and can change your life if you turn to him.

the son of God

Jesus is my savior

by Thatchristiangirl September 7, 2020

1πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Christ

The main character in the fiction story "The Bible". Portrayed by Jim Caviezel in the movie version.

Person 1- Dude, I just read The Bible. That Jesus Christ guy was kick ass. If only that was real...
Christian Asshole- It was real, he died for all of our sins.
Person 1- I bet you expect me to believe he turned water into wine too and healed people by 'miracles'. You're such a joker :D
(Christian Asshole walks away to go to church like a bitch instead of watching the Ravens vs Steelers)

by Joe Balls69 June 27, 2011

62πŸ‘ 35πŸ‘Ž


Jesus Is the Answer

A seemingly naive or simplistic solution to one's life problems that Jesus can make the impossible possibleβ€”a crazy idea to the cynical or skeptical nonbeliever.

Be it in health, relationships, career, or finances, one can expect a breakthrough if one believes that Jesus is more than willing to turn one's life aroundβ€”this is why Jesus is the answer to all of one's life's problems.

by MathPlus January 22, 2017

493πŸ‘ 576πŸ‘Ž