Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

A phrase made popular by the 1989 movie 'Heathers' and the 2014 musical of the same name. It is very similar in meaning to 'Are you retarded?'.

Heather Duke: Can I be red?

Heather Chandler: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast? I'm always red

Heather McNamara: I've been looking forward to this all day!
Heather Duke: Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

DO YOU HAVE A LIGHTER?

It is a sublimal implication definition.

What kind of ASSHOLE you are.

The US MARSHALLS arrest of perpetrators definition. The very ruining of all the distributive marketing of SHAWK BLUEBIRD including their plan. See next definition . DYHALSB

DO YOU HAVE A LIGHTER? (ASSHOLE) on you as you are going to prison to get a lot of TRAINING?. TMFLZ

DO YOU HAVE A LIGHTER? , (ASSHOLE,) ,,the dry , spitred, tight or lubed up.

DO YOU HAVE A LIGHTER? AS they are going to steal your property. Not if ELON has anything to do with it as TESLA IS A STEAL as it gives you PEACE OF MIND.

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This is why we can't have nice things

No matter how nice of a thing you have, no matter how hard you may try, someone will always find a way to fuck it up.

Josh: Hey bro can I borrow your phone?
Me: I dunno man, I just bought this. I don't even have a case on it yet!
Josh: Chill dude, I ain't gonna break it. It'll just take a second..
Me: Okay...
Josh:*Immediately drops it on the ground, denting the corner*
Me: God damn it Josh, this is why we can't have nice things.

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I have to return some video tapes

A statement made when you need to quickly get out of a situation or leave the conversation or a room. A great excuse for tardiness or and absence.

Also an euphemism for going number 2.

A line used many times by Patrick Bateman in the book "American Physco." written by Bret Easton Ellis

"Where you going, dude? We got another round of beers coming?"

"I have to return some video tapes."

----
"Those fish tacos tore me up. Umm, I have to return some video tapes."

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have you seen my new wristwatch

When you are sitting at a table eating with some boring friends, you pull your balls out of the side of your shorts, put your wrist on your thigh, put your balls on top of your wrist, and say to your friends "hey, have you seen my new wristwatch?" Your friends then look and see your balls on your wrist.

Dude, did you see the new episode of Grey's Anatomy? No, but have you seen my new wristwatch?

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I did not have sexual relations with that woman

The biggest lie in modern history. Said by one of the most noteworthy presidents of the 20th century, yes folks William Clinton himself.

America: Did u hit that yet Bill?
Bill: I did not have sexual relations with that woman.
America: Oh...

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staying sober- so you dont have to!

Nice term to describe anyone designated or willing to stay sober at events involving alcoholic consumption. Basically, a nice way of saying, "don't worry my friend, I'm staying sober- so you don't have to! Which means I'll be there at the end of the evening to question that 'date' you picked up, drive you home, and provide adequate support for you're drunken heap of a body... well go on then, get drinking!"

Joseph: Hey, you having a drink?
Joe: Nope, I'm staying sober- so you dont have to!
Joseph: okay- You just volunteered to pay... bitch!

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