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Carpenter’s dozen

A collection of sixteen of something

The hardware store sells a box of nails by the carpenter’s dozen.

by Joe Hardwick May 18, 2018


The Carpenter Effect

When a person or persons find themselves inexplicably drawn either a trilby, glasses a scarf or all of the above. This person will then want to molest everything that moves. A known symptom of the Carpenter effect also includes blaring classical music from hidden speakers around your body, some may also find themselves compelled to provide a 'tuneful' accompaniment. They will look a bit silly.

"Did you see Taylor Momsen the other day?"
"Yeah she was suffering from 'The Carpenter Effect'!"

by DuckmanThesecond July 9, 2013


The Angry Carpenter

The Angry Carpenter - Tie your girlfriend to a workbench and proceed to use sandpaper upon her Vagina, once smooth feel free to have sex with the bloody remains

Poor mrs Jamison, she died from The Angry Carpenter.
she was such a good teacher. Damn sandpaper is rough.

by The Comic November 6, 2012


alfie carpenter

A person who is almost in every way perfect and is quite intelligent. Alfie carpenter is usually very likeable and is a very trust worthy person

Hey you know Alfie carpenter, who’s such a good friend

by OnlyUKknows November 19, 2018