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Used by probationers who aren't allowed to drink alcohol to explain why they fail breathalyzers. Similar to the toothpaste defense, the cough syrup defense, and the hand-sanitizer defense, the latter of which only applies to ETG tests (Urine alcohol tests).
Probation officer: You failed your breathalyzer.
Probationer: I didn't drink alcohol, I just used mouthwash before I came here.
Probation Officer: That's the mouthwash defense. It's bullshit and you know it. You're going to jail.
Usually armed with guns, engaging with hopefully unarmed person(s), looking for trouble, gets into a losing conflict, shoots and then cry victim.
When cited you shouldn't have been there bothering people in the first place, causing drama snd caught hands, the alleged shooter pulls "The Zimmerman Defense " and cry "self defense" to the Judge.
A hockey player who is overpaid to stand in a defensive position without any tangible results.
Wade Redden was a $6.5M defensive consultant for the NY Rangers who was sent to the minors after inflecting years of pain.
Similar to the Roman War Helmet, except you put your anus on their nose, place your balls on their chin and let your penis extend down their throat.
Brendan passed out early, so I gave him the ol' Canadian Defensive.
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an old game, its acronym is dota
it has a fucking sequel jesus fucking christ
Guy 1: who the fuck plays defense of the ancients in 2017?
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The MW defense is applied to any situation when someone informs you of your actions during the night before's drinking. if your actions were a bit out of order or caused a little hassle you defend by replying "but it was funny, right?"
if the reply is yes then chances are you got away with it.
so named for the fact MW aka Mikk Savage aka Michael Werninck coined the phrase and used it frequently.
The MW Defense
Rockwell informs MW of his actions at Jonny's 21st, namely saying getting wasted and then threatening to kill Jonny's dog, before hiding under a table amongst other things
MW: yeh but it was funny right?
Rockwell: it was.... then it wasn't
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Buying presents for acquaintances out of fear they might surprise you with a gift.
"Great!" I'll have to start my defensive shopping tonight after work. I have a bad feeling Peggy's gonna surprise me with one of those sweaters she loves to knit for Christmas.
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