I wish I were Heather

Conan Gray's adorable gay ass expressing how his crush chose 'Heather', this perfect little barbie doll that is amazing in every way, over him.

It's a metaphor on how he says he wish we were Heather so he could be finally loved by his crush for once.

Heather: "Hey Jackal, looking good today!"
Jackal *crush* : "Hey Heather! Wanna go to the movies to watch that new horror movie?"
Heather: "Sure!"

Conan, on the verge of killing himself: "I wish I were Heather"

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I&I pod

An I&I pod is an iPod that's loaded with reggae music. I coined this phrase in reference to my friend Paul's I&Ipod, which had over 30 GB of Reggae on it.
The I&Ipod is not to be confused with the I-Against-Ipod, which is loaded with Bad Brains. The I&Ipod, ironically enough, flies in the face of all things rasta, even if it is adorned with a picture of Haile Selassie.

The I&I pod was responsible for me getting turned on to Junior Kelly, Midnite, The Congos, U Roy and Black Uhuru.
-I&I pods are usually owned by affluent white kids.
-I&I pods are great for long road trips.
-I&I pods are essential if you work the graveyard shift ANYWHERE.
-If you think that your I&I pod makes you a rasta, please press Ctrl+Alt+Delete and kill yourself.
-I&I Pods are not to be confused with I-AGAINST-I pods, EVER.

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I didn't like it. I... LOVED it.

If you were watching America's Talent and heard Simon Cowell say this and you were puzzled, this is something he says sometimes to screw with the performer/performers and scare them, and he is technically telling the truth because he did not simply like the performance, he LOVED it.

Simon Cowell: I didn't like it. I... LOVED it.

what do i do if i like this girl but she's dating Joyelle

man tf up before you miss your shot

Hey, what do i do if i like this girl but she's dating Joyelle?

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I mean, I could be down

A way to express a possible interest in... anything.

I mean, I could be down to write an example.

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Do as I say, not as I do

A phrase that literally means "I am a hypocrite, but you should still obey me." It is commonly used to mock someone (usually a politician, but can actually be anyone) displaying utter hypocrisy of any kind.

California Governor Gavin Newsom tries to mandate masks in the state. Later, he was seen sitting at a restaurant table with eleven people. Every single one of those eleven people -- Newsom included -- was NOT wearing a mask.

"Do as I say, not as I do" he said, effectively sweeping it under the rug.

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i think i hauve covid

what you say when you get really turned on

her imperious condescession: you're such a good girl.
me: i think i hauve covid

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