I can quit any time I want to

I'm addicted (to it) and I'm in denial.

I'm not an alcoholic! I can quit any time I want to.

18👍 3👎

I can see my house from here

A hyperbolic joke made by people who are rather high up in the air, but not high (or close) enough to actually see their houses.

Sylvie on a ferris wheel: "Don't rock the cart, we're so high up! Like, I can see my house from here"

29👍 9👎

I can nawt get sick right now

A sentence you use when you can nawt get sick right now

"Omg Bailey are you ok?"
Baliey:*sneezes* " I can nawt get sick right now I have kendras birthday party and that baby shower later I-I just can nawt get sick right now."

-Family Guy S11 EP.18 Total Recall

kick down so i can get down

A term used on a grateful dead or grateful dead related parking lot in the early 90's and still found on parking lots accross the country. Soley invented by the enfamous Steve Burkemper before a grateful dead show on the parking lot. Ticketless and desprite he realized that holding his finger in the air to obtain a miracle ticket wasn't efficient enough. So young Burkemper came up with the catchy jungle "Kick down so I can get down", which became an instant staple for ticketless deadheads tring to score a ticket.

"I wanna see the show, come on...Kick down so I can get down".

13👍 5👎

Can i?

A quick and easy way of asking a bird if they would like to fornicate/fuck
Due to its abrupt and down right rude nature, the can i? on a ratio is only succesful 1 time for every 100 times asked.

Andy mobile to Nadia mobile - "Can i? "

Nadia mobile to Andy mobile - "NO,dont u know how to treat a lady? are you quara again?"

Andy mobile to Nadia Mobile - "Is that a no?

23👍 17👎

who needs a car if i can swim underwater

a phrase created by uriel bromberg to say when people ask why you can't drive yet or why would you not

peep: hey man, did you get your drive license?
you: nah, who needs a car if i can swim underwater

grandma: hey son, could you drive to the supermarket and buy me fresh fruits?
you: i ain't got drive license, but who needs a car if i can swim underwater

6👍 1👎

I can dig more clams than you

A challenge, preferably screamed into a cell phone at the top of your lungs.

"Hello?"
"I CAN DIG MORE CLAMS THAN YOU!"
"You're crazy. I will totally pwn you at Halo."

3👍 1👎