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Chief Executive Officer of Shite
“Your acting like the Emergent CEO at the moment”
Having a thing that can kill you instantly beside you at all times.
I am allergic to nuts, so I have a Nutella jar with me for an Emergency Suicide.
Having stamps for emergencies. Keeping them in your wallet or your car glovebox for last minute mailing purposes
Man, I forgot to put a stamp on this and the post office is closed. I have to wait to send my love letters.
Here buddy I have my emergency
stamp for last minute mail
That is so emergency stamp
Oh I want to write this down now and send it to my friend, too bad I don’t keep emergency stamps
The meal you get at a restaurant you've never been to and you are unfamiliar with all of the menu items.
Waiter: "What can I get you?" Me: "Umm, chicken strips and fries." Waiter: "That's kind of a basic choice." Me: "Sorry, it's my emergency meal."
A condition that certain clients will have, causing them to occasionally disregard their manners when contacting a sex worker in an attempt to schedule a booking. Individuals having a dick emergency will often not pay proper attention to screening instructions, will attempt to schedule same-day even if policies state that's not offered, and will sometimes even lose grasp of basic grammar.
ring ring
sex worker: "Hello?"
client: "What are your rates?!?"
sex worker: "WOW. OK, let's start with your name first?"
client: "I'm Chad... can you accept me for a booking this afternoon?!?"
sex worker: "OK, I can see that someone is having a dick emergency today... but let's not totally forget our manners, shall we?"
client: "Sorry, yes. So may I please inquire as to your rates?"
sex worker: "They're pretty clearly stated on my web site."
client: "Where is that?"
sex worker: "You managed to find my contact info online... I'm confident that you can find this information, as well. Along with my screening process. Thank you."
click
The act of pulling the extra skin down around the base of your penis to give a woman an extra inch.
My girl asked me to F' her harder so i had to give her the emergency inch