rustic trumpet

Pertaining to the sound(s) of unintended flatulence during anal copulation.

"She kept accidentally farting while I was ass fucking her, and it sounded like a chorus of rustic trumpets!"

Trumpet's ego

Bigger than the universe...
gets all the solos
the solos fuel the ego to grow bigger and better >:D

How the Trumpet's ego works...
Ex:Trumpets are better than Clarinets
Ex:Trumpets are better than Sax
Ex:Trumpets are better than trombones
Ex:Trumpets are better than flutes
Ex:Trumpets are better than oboes
Ex:Trumpets are better than percussion...
Ex:Trumpets are better than (insert instrument here)

Trumpet grief

When mr grief steals your trumpet

“Dude used to be spanner grief but now the kunt has stolen my trumpet, he’s now known as fucking trumpet grief. Absolute fucking wank stain”

Arse-Trumpet

A Utensil made of brass around 1ft. long with mouthpeace and tapered nossle used for the anal administration of cocain.
Favoured by the brittish royal family in the 18th and 19th century who had servants to blow the cocain through the device.

"Butler, fetch my arse-trumpet"

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Underwater Trumpet

A sexual maneuver in which a man ejaculates into a woman's vagina and farts either at the same time or immediately thereafter ejaculation, but before withdrawing.

"He just gave me an underwater trumpet. It was vile."

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trumpet

A bisexual person of either male or female gender, so named for the two ends of the trumpet.

The bell of the trumpet represents the vagina where one may place one's face mimicking the act of oral sex on a female.

The funnel represents the penis where one may place their lips and blow or buzz, once again mimicking the act of oral sex, this time applied to the male genitalia.

See also: study the trumpet
A trumpet is a person who studies the trumpet.

'Are you bisexual?'
'What do you mean?'
'Do you study the trumpet?'
'Oh, right. Yes, I do, Ross.'

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spunk trumpet

When a laydee is felating a lucky gent: just as he thunders past the vinegar strokes and he cums into her mouth, the puffing out of her cheeks at the point of no return is reminiscent of her playing the 'spunk trumpet'

Ee - that ethel everreddy - she's a one for that spunk trumpet

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