Patch the one eyed snake

To wank, or masturbate.

Uncle Herbert told me to patch the one eyed snake, so I went out looking for a one with a box of band-aids. I eventually got tired as I couldn't find it, so I ran behind a bush and masturbated furiously.

one-eyed-bed-snake

The blind organ of masculinity commonly found nestled between a gentlemans thighs that often wakes early in the morning independantly of its owner..

Gravitates towards madams dick-ditch if she should bed down with sir..

The one-eyed-bed-snake was on fine form this morning, but my wife was having none of it so I had to use my hand..

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One-Eyed Trouser Snake

A variation on the ever-popular "Trouser Snake", however the prefix added to insure that there is no doubt to what exactly the person is referring to which is coiled in his pants. That is to say, a penis, especially one of considerable length, doubly so if it's snake-like, and almost most certainly if the possesor of said wang must tuck it in his sock or coil it up. See also- Trouser Snake

"Xavier, a refined gigalo on the streets of Canterbury, could raise a generous tuppence with the help of his one-eyed trouser snake"

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One Eyed Pecker Wrecker

A slang term for butthole. Usually used in the context of a girl who has a tight ass but can also be used as a greeting or an insult.

1. Did you see the one eyed pecker wrecker on that bitch that just walked by?

2. Whats going on you one eyed pecker wrecker you want to go grab a beer after work today?

3. Say another word you fucking one eyed pecker wrecker and i will knock your teeth out!

one eyed wonder weasel

a penis... see fo shizzle my nizzle

dude your one eyed wonder weasel is crawling up my pants

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one-eyed spitting cobra

It's pretty much your mom's favorite animal. Indigenous to the trousers of the mutant and bred for its skills in sex. Usually directs its venom at the eyes when agitated.

The one-eyed spitting cobra is an endangered species. Only one is known to be left in existence.

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One-Eyed Cousin in a Carwash

A hand-job done using shampoo, soap, dish detergent, or a similar substitute.

e.g. "Man did you hear how Sami's mom gave me a one-eyed cousin in the carwash last night?"

e.g. "Man did you hear how Sami's mom gave me a One-Eyed Cousin in a Carwash last night?"