fuck you twice

meaning fuck you but fuck you meaner...harsher even

"fuck you twice I'm not punching my grannie in the face"

You don’t hear me preaching on a Sunday

When you tell someone that something is a bad idea, they don’t believe you, and still do it anyways. The equivalent of “I told you so.”

Me: “We probably shouldn’t do anal.”
Us: *do anal
Wife: “Great, there’s shit on the comforter.”
Me: “Yeah, I knew this would happen, but you don’t hear me preaching on a Sunday.”

you look like you get no bitches on your dick

common phrase said by shlinkot

yes you look like you get no bitches on your dick

I think i’m in love with you

Something you should never say on a first date, as it will ruin the sexual tension between you and your partner. Should only be used as a way to get out of an awkward date.

Ted: I think i’m in love with you.
Robin: What?

I'm never unblocking you 😢🙏

• someone who immediately relies on blocking in order to feel cool
• someone who needs to touch grass
• someone who blocks and cuts contact because they think theyre superior
funny emojies

1. Listen, I'm never unblocking you 😢🙏
2. I dont know, today the way my husband looked at me gave me "I'm never unblocking you 😢🙏" vibes
3. Want to fuel your ego? never unblock them 😢🙏

why me not you

A phrase people use when they don't like that they have to do something and not someone else.

I have jury duty? why me not you?

As you can see

Monkweh's favourite word to summon sacrificial lamb, when you use it random guy will shout "Suck your mom!"

Monkweh: "As you can see my wife is fighting with this Godzilla"
Wife: "Suck your mom!"