Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome

Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome (DMWS) is an erection of the male genitalia that would normally occur after one wakes up, but is heavily delayed and occurs at a later time in the morning. 3 in 5 men are affected by this syndrome on a day to day basis. This generally gives the male extreme discomfort, as they try to hide it from others.

(Sitting on the bus, looking down) Shit, I got Delayed Morning Wood Syndrome!

(Walking down street, looks down) Damn it! DMWS again!

Friend 1: Come on! Erected in the morning?
You: Sorry, it's DMWS.

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Sap O' The Morning Wood

Sap O' The Morning Wood basically refers to when you try to piss with morning wood. Needless to say, it's splashy, messy, and downright humiliating if someone uses the toilet after you.

Sap O' The Morning Wood is also known as Yellow Fire Hose, Anti-Air, The Bear Grylls Windmill and Gold On The Ceiling.

I woke up with a stiffy and experienced some Sap O' The Morning Wood.

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do bears shit in the woods?

A saying for of course, what else?, obversely. The same as "is the pope catholic?".

question:"do you want a beer?"
reply:"do bears shit in the woods?"

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getting my wood cut

Gettin my wood cut means getting his Dick ready to smash like shaving and cleaning the aria.

“DUDE IM GETTING MY WOOD CUT FOR TONIGHT “
“Damn bro are u smashing?”

Does a bear shit in the woods?

A sarcastic way of saying hell yes.

Made famous 2001 during the tv-show Friends in season 7 episode 8.

Ross: You hungry?
Joey: Does a bear shit in the woods?

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Does a bear shit in the woods?

yes, but not a polar bear

Does a bear shit in the woods?

Not a polar bear

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if i could i wood

thats is the phrase people say when they cant get a boner
or a new slogan for viagra

my grandpa told me grandma if i could i wood and she said i have have viagra right here sweety cakes

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