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Magic Underwear Jokes

The quickest thing to piss of a Jello Eating Bunny aka Latter Day Saint is make a really degrading joke about their temple undergarments or call The Book of Mormon alternate history fanfiction of the King James Version of the Bible. Also imply that Joseph Smith was a womanizing con man who married his women to keep his sex life in check. They really hate when one attributes their doctrine to rodents copulating (as this one is a favorite barb.) There's my critic of religion status confirmed.

"I don't believe that my boxer briefs are magical, as in you mean to tell me you never cut a greasy fart in those magic underwear and leave a skidmark." My retort when I caught the webmaster mocking my most personal project as an editor as the cover was the second time I saw fan-art -- the artist was my breakout from Issue 3 and came to Issue Five as he was the cover artist for the first time.

My enraged comment came when I learned a blogtroll decided to send the cover to the webmaster as he took aim at it; I had seen very strong covers over the years as a lot of my own projects came from my photography output. His response after seeing the barrage of Magic Underwear Jokes combined with double homicide whamlines, "Hey, I’ve got an idea! How about we DON’T refer to other people’s religious beliefs in the most degrading way possible, and instead behave like civilized beings, not total dickwads, okay? It’s called “civilization.” You may have heard of it." The response was on par to Deva's "yer taking to care bears' retort on twitter.

by illinoishorrorman January 18, 2018

2👍 3👎


Magic Eight Ball Text

Any text message consisting of less than four words which is usually sent from a distracted or disinterested party. Opposite of "Bible Text"

"Hey man what's going on with that girl you met last weekend?"

"Not much, just a bunch of Magic Eight Ball Texts"

by Patrick Wilde July 31, 2009

5👍 2👎


dope boy magic

when u throw "dope" at people and they think your magick

why is yung joc good at rapping its that dope boy magic

by willam brown June 9, 2006

23👍 252👎


magic underwear (mormon garments)

The most poorly kept secret from the mormon secret temple ceremonies (derived from masonic ceremonies)

magic underwear (mormon garments) are a two piece set - like a T shirt and long shorts

This current design is the garment of choice for most mormons. Previous styles have had full length legs, collars, cuffs and some were one-piece (a 19th century onesie).

Obviously designed by a man in a patriarchal society, Women are expected to wear a Bra over the top of their mormon t-shirt.

There is nothing apparently special about the garments. they are almost always white, but the magic comes from masonic symbols embroidered onto them.
The symbols represent a Masonic Square (⅃) a masonic pair of drawing compasses (V) and a masonic level (-)

Despite protestations from mormons that the garments are not really 'magic', every mormon will have heard testimonies and stories from other cult members about how their garments have saved them from fire, cuts, animal bites and even gunshot wounds

for example Paul H Dunn - a mormon general authority (a high Mucky Muck) told how, in WW2, a hail of bullets ripped off all his clothes, but left his body and garments untouched..... Of course, Dunn's stories are no longer quoted by cult members since his stories about WW2 were exposed as complete lies in a national newspaper...

Ann dried off after her shower and quickly donned her magic underwear (mormon garments), before putting her black lacy bra over the top

by DutchCappedCrusader March 23, 2014

3544👍 5338👎


Genie's Three Magic Wishes

Occurs when a man is receiving oral sex from a female, and as he reaches the point of ejaculation simultaneously puts his hand on her head and pushes it down as to make her deep throat and yells out "SHAZAM!!" as he cums in her mouth

"I gave that girl from the party the genie's three magic wishes last night."

by Ohiohacker May 28, 2009

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Mentos Diet Coke Magic

When you're having sex with a girl doggystyle and right when you're about to finish you grab a diet coke bottle in each hand, you open them up and stick a mentos in each, and as they blow, you stick one in her ass and give her an enema while you finish on her back and stick the other between your legs as it explodes right in her face like Old Faithful.

I was banging Shirley doggystyle last night, and she was complaining she was constipated, so I pepped her bowels right up with some Mentos Diet Coke Magic!

by WaxyDouglass June 24, 2010

11👍 11👎


Magic Hat Number 9

After ejaculating in a condom, you quickly pull it off and put it over a girls head, then punch her in the face and say "abracadabra!"

I finished off the night with a Magic Hat Number 9, and she disappeared after that.

by Angel15w January 17, 2009

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