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Second Helping

Dating someone that looks like your ex.

Second Helping: Jenny is now dating John, who looks identical to her ex Clarke. Coincidence? We think not.

by Resolutes November 2, 2019


GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!

When you want your pet named Gary to get a bath, so you strap a bomb to your chest in an attempt to scare him in to doing it.

Robert:“GARY, THERE’S A BOMB STRAPPED TO MY CHEST! IT’S GONNA EXPLODE IN THREE SECONDS UNLESS YOU GET A BATH!”

Gary:”Meow”

(Robert explodes)

by Intruderalertredspyisinthebase August 20, 2024


30 second job

When you only last 30 seconds when having sex with a girl

Hey Erik do you do 30' second jobs

No Jacob I last for like 5 minutes when I'm having sex, no 30 second jobs

by 30seconejob February 17, 2016


general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)

The shitty-doings of General Smear continue to drown the students of Baulko. It started with the walls and students but at one point... he just could not hold it in any longer. Students. Teachers. Principal. AND ESPECIALLY the Janitor was smeared all over. Fortunately, following this disastrous attack, we can identify one particular victim and gain a 69-minute interview with the boy himself. NAMELY, Zuhair, or as his new name post-catastrophe, ZuShit. This momo dupe of a Bengali boy just wanted to learn about the ideal GAS laws, especially GAY loose(nut)sacks law. However, the general had other plans. ZuShit was surprised to learn he would not only learn the theory of how gas is formed but rather was given an unexpected practical on how gases turn into brown precipitates. Feeling like he had learnt a lo that lesson he gleefully walked out the corridor when he noticed something... a stench. Connecting the brown dots, he took a glance down at his feet evidently covered, shmeared and engulfed by the general's signature premium shit. he ran to confront the general who was shitting in the female cubicle as he was in a quite a hurry. The stench was simply too blasphemous.

Knock Knock!
"get out buddy i am trying to cook up tonight's dinner! please wait your turn"
"no you don't understand what you have done. my parents bob and sam will not accept me. they will sent me back to syria.

"mate i don't have time for this shit! piss off."

Saranyan: Damn bro i feel really bad for ZuShit.

Rishi: yeah no cap fanum tax ohio rizzler.

Saranyan: must be a shitty experience

ZuShit!: hey dont make fun of me guys!!!🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Rishi: i think its time to let the public know general's true powers in the latest general smear (the second update: 25.04.24)

by dailybritishbrownboy March 25, 2024


second cousin-uncle

Parent's male second cousin.

My second cousin-uncle is a good person.

by Hgcloziw November 23, 2019


second-cousin-twice-removed

1- Grandparent's second-cousin.
2- Second-cousin's grandchild.

My second-cousin-twice-removed is a good person.

by JAMP12 September 21, 2021


second-cousin-twice-removed

1- Great-great-grandparent's sibling's grandchild / Grandparent's second-cousin.
2- Grandparent's sibling's great-great-grandchild / Second-cousin's grandchild.

My second-cousin-twice-removed is a good person.

by ZJO8738 October 3, 2021