jesus shagger

ppl who’re heavy christian like lily reid n ma gran x

ma gran’s a right jesus shagger

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Jesus Placebo

The thought that jesus will bandage your pains.

Hey man your back still hurting?
Yeah but I be on that jesus.
You mean jesus placebo?

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Secret Jesus

Same concept used with Secret Santa during Christmas where everyone draws a name out of a hat and gifts the other person. Secret Jesus is used when participating with a Christian family primarily because Santa is believed to be of the devil and the gift exchange happens on New Year because Christmas Day is reserved for Jesus.

Person 1: "Hey, are you doing Secret Santa with your family this year?"

Person 2: "Nah, my family are fanatical Christians. It's more like a Secret Jesus gift exchange.

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Jesus Crisis

The combined total of the confusion and chaos created by all the religeous factions, their dogma, ritual and conflicting interpretations of ancient superstitious writings and failed attempts to give meaning to natural phenomenon.

People are murdering each other over who has the best imaginary friend, jesus crisis!

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hebe-jesus

The feeling of creepiness emitted by Jesus Christ.

Little Church Boy: Wow Jesus, you really must have been popular!
Jesus: *stares*
Little Church Boy: uhhh your giving me the hebe-jesus

Jesus: *stares intensely*

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brother jesus

Brother Jesus is a one in a life time huy, if you see him he will bless you with a better life style, you will get more friends and better grades. Brother Jesus will always support you as long as you know de wey, so if you meet Brother Jesus be proud... you could also become a Brother Jesus by bludgeoning someone in a Fortnite game with a Brother Jesus

hey jonas is a brother jesus and has a ps4 fortnite account named: Smash-FACE-1313

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asian jesus

asian with dreads, not necessarily christian

Damn, that asian jesus rocks the dreads like marley never could.

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