I like turtles

What you say to a fail post/comment/etc.

Poster; ZOMG BRING ME TEH HERPEZ IS DA BEST BAND EVAR I ALSO LIEK ALL TIEM HOMO

Commenter; I like turtles/toitlez.

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turtle neck jacket

this is basically a ANTI vsco girl jacket

person1: quick put on the turtle necks, the vsco people are approaching
person2: *puts on a turtle neck jacket

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Awkward Humping Turtle

When you make an awkward turtle on somebody's shoulder and push back and forth in a humping motion.

Wtf, my mom tried to pull an awkward humping turtle on me during grandma's funeral

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Operation Flying Turtle

An advanced homosexual technique used by only the most adventurous couples. You start this delight by turning up the heat in the room to make your sack leather maliable. Once the sack leather has reached a bubblegumish feel. You then stretch the sack over the entire erect penis and With one hand (your dominant hand preferably) you lock the sack skin firmy in place at the base of the shaft. Now With your other arm supporting your lower back. Have your man kneel before you, grab his ankles, and bring his knees to his shoulders then tell him to repeat the word "Gamera" three times. Now comes the difficult part that takes otherworldly aim and precision. From approximately 15-20 yards out try and achieve a nice eric Dickersonesque head of steam and pray to god you hit the doodoo chute with enough force to engulf the whole " flying turtle... Nothing worse than a fractured Half turtle.

Godspeed

This move was invented,perfected and practiced repeatedly by Adam Carolla on his male staff members over at ace broadcasting studios.

Adam-" Hey bald Bryan, forget that fancy new tumor medicine you've been taking.... I got something better."

Bryan-" what's that boss?"

Adam-" looks like you dropped your pencil"

Bryan-" oh thank......... Uuuuuurrrrgghh ahhhhhhhh noooo! Not operation flying turtle again!!"

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turtles having sex

a. A most beautiful thing, to be admired and worshiped.
b. Sarah Palin.

I got a DVD off that guy on the corner of MLK and 3rd, but it was just a video of turtles having sex.

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Tootally Turtle

originated form totally turtle.

Frank: That turtle was awesome.
Janice: Tootally Turtle!
Frank: Tootally!

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Turtle-Head

When one is finished masurbating or having sex, and they don't "wash-up" the head of their penis will form a protective coat of dried semen over time. Effectively creating a "Turtle-Head".

"Man that guy in the showers had a mad Turtle-Head".

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