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1. Noun. When, overcome with sadness, depression, or despair, you jerk off to feel even marginally better.
2. Noun. A masturbatory session that happens to coincide with a sad or depressive episode. Tears may be used as lubricant.
3. Verb. Engaging in definitions 1 or 2.
4. Noun. Someone who's usually an asshole, who happens to be crying at the moment.
1. Overcome with sadness, Noah decided to have a weepy jerk, resulting in his problems not seeming quite so bad after all.
2. While on a marathon jerk session, Thomas recalled a sad moment from his formative years, turning his proud gank into a weepy jerk.
3. Heath weepily jerked for hours, hoping for some change in his mood.
4. -Aw, Eli's crying! -Who gives a shit?! Fuck that weepy jerk!
When something is so exciting, so completely enthralling that you are nearly dying of the anticipation. In fact, the excitement is so great that it is equivalent to the feeling of jerking off. As such, you are completely pumped by the idea of doing something on par with masturbating.
Bill-"Wait, we're killing a 30 case right after the concert featuring our favorite band of all time!?"
Frank-"Hell yeah man get excited!"
Bill-"That's gonna be the best day ever! I'm Jerking-Off Pumped about the whole situation!"
Frank-"You read my mind!"
This is an exclamation that you say to someone who has put you in a frustrated state that you are unable to deliver a comeback because they so brilliantly insulted you.
Benny: "Yeah, now you listen here, you trifflin' trick ass brick-faced bitch with no play all day who never gonna get laid!"
Sean: "You're nothin' but a word jerk! Just leave me alone I'll get mine."
Benny: "Ahhhh hahahaaa!!!"
A slang term used for shifting a car with an automatic or manual transmission.
I was jerking the stick later in my brand new minivan.
When someone is visibly angry or irritated but not to the extent of being pissed off.
“Hey, did you see how mad bill was this morning?” “Yeah he’s all jerked off”
A soulless handjob. Possibly from a ginger.
Chase thought he had a wet dream but it turns out his roommate was sneaking in and giving him the old ginger jerk while he slept.
On October 14th, this national holiday will be a free day to please yourself. This is the one time of year to masturbate, unless you're a sinner.
It's national jerk off day!! Finally!!