Why do I have to be Steve-O?

A phrase said when one must do something that he/she does not want to do. Comes from the movie Jackass 3D, when Steve-O is introducing the stunt that he does not want to do, involving a Tee-Ball hitting him in the testicles.

One may use this when ones parental figure or boss tells them to do something they do not want to do, whilst not doing the task earns them a punishment such as not receiving a sum of money or something along those lines.

1. Steve-O: Hi, I'm Steve-O... Why do I have to be Steve-O? Hi, I'm Steve-O and this is Tee Ball! *Ryan Dunn hits him in the testicles with a Tee Ball*

2: Bob's boss: I need that inventory done by 10:00 or you will not get your paycheck!
Bob: Okay... Why do I have to be Steve-O?

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Don't you have something to mop up?

A phrase from the show "Lost" said by the ruthless mercenary Martin Keamy. It is most often used on the iMDB message board for "Lost" in response to a nonsensical thread or just to voice a certain type of annoyance against the OP.

Original Poster: LOST SUCKS FOR REALZZ MAN! DEY KILL OFF AL DE BLACK PEOLE FUCKIN RACIST SHOW YO!

Responding Poster: Don't you have something to mop up?

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at least i have my orange juice

a creative and subtle way of saying that you're going to have a shitty day (derived from a florida orange juice commercial).

John: I got an email saying the professor would post our grades today.

Mike: at least I have my orange juice...

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I just have really high standards

A way for others to know that what you mean is "I find your existance to be below acceptable realms of human intelligence."

"I won't go out with you because I just have really high standards."

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You Should Have Bought a Squirrel

A funny, and quick way of saying "In hindsight". A reference to something done in the recent past that led to something going wrong, something that didn't have to happen if the person made a different choice.

Instead of saying: You know, in hindsight, you really didn't need to drink seven cups of coffee. Now you've made yourself sick.

Just say: You should have bought a squirrel.

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having one's ear on one's face

a nice synonym used for conservative boxheads, derived from the fact that conservative people think a rainbow on one's ear would ruin one's face

- omg have you heard that Bob opposes same sex marriage?
- are you serious? i thought having one's ear on one's face was already out of fashion..
- nah, he and Cynthia still totally have their ears on their faces

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i have a coffee drinking problem

1- this is a confession
2- you searched this for the mug but hey no shame

guy 1- "how do you spend your free time"

guy 2- "i have a coffee drinking problem this is a cry for help i am being forced to live on coffee and my own shi-"

guy 2- "haha same"

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