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(Usually, but not always) Strict, nosey, and controlling. They make you go to summer school if you get a B+ in an honors math class, even if you had the best grade out of all the Asians who took that class, and replace your grade all because 'if you get 4.0, you get sit on stage when graduate!'. To Asian parents, summer is not a 'break' as it is to other children in America, but 'a time to catch up'. Summer for Asian kids include SAT/ACT/PSAT prep (whether its doing books or taking classes), summer school, piles of math books, etc. while others are hanging out with friends and making s'mores. Asian Parents control their kids' lives because they want them to get into a good college, so that 1) They can brag to their asian friends about what college you go to <---MAIN REASON 2) You can be a doctor and make lots of money and 3) They can brag about how much money you make as a doctor
Asian parents often put on a facade to others that they are nice, normal American parents. Then, when your friends leave (if they ever get the OK to come over), your parents start yelling at you, pressuring you to do math, and/or beating you for something you did that 'embarassed' them (i.e. having a messy room). They also severely disapprove of technology (computers, ipods, tvs). If you get an A- its CLEARLY your ipods fault, so its going to be taken away until you get above a 98. If you watch an hour of TV, they begin yelling at you to stop and give you a lecture about how TV is like crack.
Asian summer: 8am-1:30pm summer school, 1:30pm-3:00pm math, 3:00pm-6:00pm tennis, 6:00pm-10:30pm math, FML
Asian parents: "I signed you up for PSAT class!"
Me:"...fine..."
Asian parents:"Ooo since good deal I signed you up for ACT class too!"
Me:"...WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!! But according to these pretests Ill either get a 35 or a 36!!!"
Me:"....I got...a 92%..."
Asian mom:"WHAT?! I told you no ipod! NO MORE IPOD till you get 98!!"
Me: -watching friends-
Asian mom: YOU WATCH TV FOR SO LONG!!!! GO DO MATH!!!
Me: But mom I've only been watching for an hour!!!
Asian mom: TV like drug!!! Once start can neeveerrrr stop! Addicted then you grades go down!
Asian mom: NO TV ON WEEKDAYS....AND 2 HOURS ON WEEKENDS
Asian mom: Getting B like cutting your leg off!
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Way back before Facebook, Xanga, MySpace, Twitter and Tumblr, there was Asian Avenue. Asian Avenue is a social networking site that most Asian teenagers raised in America used to use. Back then everyone had cool pages.
You can make pages on Asian Avenue.
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Originally named for rubbing wasabi or pickled ginger around the edge of the anus to make anal cunilingus more palatable when cleanliness is suspect. Today, however, it is a generic term referring to use of any intense flavored condiment such as mustard, pepper jack cheese spread, English Stilton, or horseradish for an anal flavoring.
When Jasmine picked up a john from the methadone clinic she knew that the only way she was going to perform the rusty trombone he was requesting was with an asian rim.
People who are characterized by the following items-
*Expects their children to always receive straight As on their report cards, tests, projects, quizes, and even questions you if you get an A on your homework assignment. And if you don't get an A, than they'll give you that long-hard-cold-stare and beat ya till you're an inch from death.
*Expects you to do the laundry, make dinner, fix a door (actually anything for that matter), and do the things that they're supposed to be doing while they're watching some Asian drama series(no allowance).
*Are easily frustrated and calls their children the following names-
Useless
Trash
Worthless
Stupid
No-Brain
Disgrace
*If you have even two-inch long hair, they will call it long, and a mess, and they will force you to get either a bowl cut, a buzz cut, or something far worse.
*Polos, polos, polos, not just any but the plain-one-colored-pocket-shirt-polos. That's what you're gonna be wearing till you're twenty.
*Expects you to be locked up in your room, studying and reading educational reports and documents during the weekend, winter break, spring break, and summer.
*Expects ya ta be a doctor or a dentist...I wanted to be a paleontologist...
*Are super cheap...so no tips..uses eachother's membership cards just for the discounts provided(funny incident), will not buy new clothes, always goes to the dollar store, and etc.
Well that's for all right now-enjoy
*Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a girl-
Mom-you have sex with her???
Me-No...we were just discussing some school...
Mom-Oh ok, what was it about?
Me-Our algebra homework....
Mom-AHA YOU CHEATA! *bitchslaps*
*Asian parents(mom) sees you talking with a black girl-
Mom-you want to marry a brack girl???
Me-um, that's racist and n...
Mom-*double bitchslaps*
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Their logic include:
1) since they gave birth to you, they think can control what you watch on YouTube, Television, etc.
2) since they gave birth to you, they think they can control what you listen to on the radio or any other thing that you can stream music on, such as, Spotify, Pandora. Etc.
3) their logic for grades :
A=acceptable
B= almost acceptable
C= compared, crime
D=dead
F= you're fucked
4) they control your hair cut
Acceptable hair cuts include :
Girls: long flowing hair, bob cut, bangs, side bangs, and basically any thing but boy hair cuts.
Boys: bowl cut, buzz cut, fowhawk.
5) they feed you and shove food on you, then calls you fat afterwards
6) if you spend more than an hour on any electronic device, you're fucked
7) they won't let you play any sport other than swimming, dancing (any type), badminton, or tennis. Claiming it's too dangerous
8) they compare you to their relative's, friend's, or co-workers' sons or daughters and say you should "follow their example and do better then them so they could brag to their parents"
Asian kid:oh shit, I got a C on this test, my parents are gonna kill me
White kid: just switch it with mine, I got an A
Asian kid: they're gonna find out, they always find out,
They're Asian parents, whatever you do, they'll always find out
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An Asian man who dates outside of his race and often converts women into being attracted to Asians. For example, a Gateway Asian will often hear “you’re the first Asian guy I’ve ever been with.”
This is typically a male because Asian men generally don’t have a lot of attention from non-Asian women.
“Notice how Vince tends to attract chicks who have never dated an Asian before? How’d he breakthrough?”
“Dude, I thought you knew. He’s a freaking Gateway Asian. If they don’t work out, her next boyfriend will probably be Asian too.”
An Asian person’s cock. Just like other guys, Asian guys’ penises vary in size. There are huge and not so huge Asians, and average ones in between, just like any race. Pro-tip: Judge a man’s size based on its erect state. Some folks are showers, others are growers.
Fun fact: Erect Asian cocks are noted for their hardness.
Ooh yeah, baby, I love the way your Asian cock feels in me
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