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These are the Four Sacred Truths of The Big-Booty Bottom Bitch himself, Daddy Jakeypoo.
Thou doth handcuffs thyself to thine bedpost during the act of sexual intercourse
His Daddyness doest enjoy ins'rting a dildo into his rampallian during amorous rite
The divine Daddyness doth also enjoyeth the reception of intercourse through the floppy pocket pussy whilst handcuffed to thine holy bedpost
Thine most holiest of Phat Cocks hast been reveal’d to us unworthy mortals as uncircumcised with curdles of thine most delicious cheese held within
For every house party, a role must be filled to maintain the sacred balance of the almighty Lauren’s Bisexuality. It is a force that balances the Sexaul Force as we know it. For every house party there must be a Lauren, for whom the others shall balance. With the Four Sacred Truths, Lauren fulfills her Straight lust. This lust, however, must be tempered and balanced by the passionate embrace of a Darcey, whom penetrates her with the Phat Cock Dildo of Lesbian Love. Just as there are Four Sacred Truths, so too must there be a forth person in the ritual, an Evalina. The Evalina is but a mere cuck that sits in the corner and observes the ritual, furling their own desires from a distance, this gives the Bisexuality an exit from the ritual and disperses the lust out into the universe, thus completing the The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party.
Let us consult The Holy Canon of The Leicester House Party
When a person sticks a small clown, living or not, in their genitalia as a form of sexual pleasure.
"hey did you hear what he did last night? he totally did a clown canon"
"wait seriously? i was wondering where my clown doll went!"
"dude you should burn that thing, he never cleans down there"
Da most popular light-classical selection dat da local fast-food joint plays over their Muzak speakers.
I love soft chamber-music as much as anyone, but it can still get a trifle tiresome hearing dat same cloyingly-sweet-toned Tacobell Canon in D played at least once over da diner's PA-system on every occasion while I'm chowing down my favorite lunch.
When youre living on the floor at the night club
Kenneth was a floor canon last night
When something is not confirmed by the creators of a show, game, ect. but someone still likes to believe that it's canon. This can range from something small to a sexuality headcanon, to changing part of the plot in your head completely.
Person 1: Lukas from Minecraft: Story Mode is so gay
Person 2: Really is it confirmed?
Person 1: Nah, it's just my personal canon.
When you take a wet shit on the ground, shovel it up, mix it with bananas and peas in a blender and then shoot it up your girlfriends ass, just to suck it back out with a straw. Then get your girlfriend pregnant.
I went to my girlfriends house and performed a fierce DIRTY CANON on her.
After doing the dirtiest of DIRTY CANON’s, I had to make a sudden trip to the ER.
The dude from the stanley parable who who can't listen for shit and pushes buttons (also extremely ugly)
Teen: I simp for Stanley
Other Teen: which one
Teen: Canon Stanley
Other Teen: stay ten planets away from me dude