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The best kind of engineering. Every job wants you, everybody needs you. Software? You shit out programs for breakfast. All other engineers look up to you because you're a beast. You blend into any group of friends because you own geeky conversations, but you still stay in shape like a salsa dancing gazelle. You dress to impress and the bitches can't get off you because you got dat layer of abs underneath that button down shirt.
"I heard Jakey B switch to computer engineering"
"Damn, God made another angel today"
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thread on urbandictionary.com used by geeks to insult each other
apples are shit blah blah...
no theyre not blah blah...
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(1) The act of opting to center one's attention on a computer, PDA, phone, or alternative source of digital media while in the company of others resulting in self-exclusionary behaviors
(2) Ineffective and inefficient multi-tasking, resulting in an unequal division of ones attention among one's company and gadgetry
(3) Self-imposed isolation resulting from an inability to detach oneself from ubiquitous digital temptations
Rather than spending time engaging in conversation with the rest of the family, Sigmund sat in the corner playing solitaire on his laptop. He continued to do so, until his antisocial computing was interrupted by an incoming text message he proceeded to read aloud, derailing the ongoing discussion from the sidelines...
The term “school computer” means that a select computer takes 15 minutes to boot up and an additional 5 to load in your first search and cannot even run flash games above 45fps, usually 5-15 years old.
Kid: Dude this thing is like a school computer!
Kid2: And you just bought it?
Kid: Hell yea, and I’m pissed!
A piece of crap that is somehow slower than my 1$ calculator.
Outdated hardware like a intel processor from the 1990s and only 512mb of ram. It cant even run notepad without blue screening. (I once fried these computers by switching the PSU switch from 240V to 120V and boom it went, smoke was coming from it.
Person 1: Oi mate don't you just love these crappy school computers
Person 2: Yeah lol there just absolute shit
Person 1: I blew one of these up in primary school but anyway wanna have some VB's and do skidz in the commodore.
Person 2: FUCK YEAAAAA
When a person sits on their computer chair for such a long time their butt actually becomes flat. On rare occasions it may become numb.
At the age of 16 Bob was diagnosed with computer butt, thankfully he got a fluffy new chair and he will live.
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A form of sadistic torture commonly used in universities, businesses and some high schools.
Common symptoms of torture from computer science are:
1. Hating computers and everything related to them.
2. Pulling your hair our after trying to understand error messages.
3. Extreme anger as a result of the computer being an asshole that takes everything literally.
4. Loss of motivation/apathy towards work
Ex. 1:
John: "Hey Bill, I thought you majored in computer science. Why are you working at McDonalds? You could be making a lot of money doing that shit."
Bill: "Well, I did get offered a job in a firm that pays 250k a year but I decided I would rather kill myself and cut off my testicles before I actually work with computers again. Fuck computers and fuck computer science."
Ex. 2:
Henry looked back at his choice to become a cs major with anguish. Ever since he declared cs a major, he has gained 200 pounds in the past 4 years, is completely pale and still has acne at age 22. Also, hes a virgin. This is the result of having to spend nearly 10 hours a day writing useless programs and trying to understand computer code. While his college friends were out getting laid, getting drunk, smoking weed, partying and doing a shit ton of awesome drugs, Henry was stuck in front of his computer trying to figure out why his program won't compile.
Ex. 3:
Gail stares intently at his computer screen. "I almost got it," he mutters to himself. "There it is! Eureka!" Now I can finally work on something else.
What we have hear is Gail mulling over a problem in one of his programs. But, what you don't know is that Gail has been working on the same 4 lines of code for 78 hours as a result of some fucktarded error message that he kept receiving.
Ex. 4:
"I can't wait to go to my Java class today!! It's filled with nothing but hot girls!" -said no one ever
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