The Friend

(V) 1. When you masturbate until your penis bleeds
2. When you use fine grained sand paper to rub off callouses on your penis in the hopes that masturbation once again feels good
3. Sprinkling salt on ones penis so that it shrivels up and can fit in small holes such as the hole in the middle of cds
4. Any self-mutilating excessive masturbation

1. I need a band-aid because I just gave myself The Friend
2. Let's go to Home Depot. I wanna give myself The Friend later
3. My penis looks like a slug when I do The Friend
4. That fool has a Frankencock from doing The Friend too much

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Friends

Democrat Friends: When you are drinking and need to get home they take your keys, block your car in, and call the cops if you leave.

Republican Friends: Charge you 20 for a ride home and tell you leave if you dont pay.

Real Friends: Follow you home, help you figure out the best way to get home with minimum cop exposure, drive you home to get your spare key, help beat the democrat's ass for taking your keys, and will run from the cops with you if they attempt to pull you over while never ratting anyone out if they get caught.

Cop: Alright sir, who was driving the vehicle...who was the person who got away on foot. You are going down for this if you don't tell me now!

Real Friends: Mr. Policeman, it was your fatass MOMMA!

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As friends

When You text someone asking them to prom, they don't like you like that so you get the "as friends" reply twice

Jordan "hey wanna go prom"
Amy(whatsapp 20:11) "as friends right?"
Amy(text message 20:12) "as friends right?"

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friends

when in the case of a guy and girl, a state of denial in which the guy tells the girl he doesn't have feelings for her and in return is never truly happy

Ya, i'm cool with us just being friends.

We'll always be friends. (but goddamn it why not more)

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friend

person of your acquaintance with a particular trait which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealling

"well jimmy, id thought we'd just be FRIENDS"

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Friends

Something you clearly do not posses if you are searching it on this website

person 1 - I just looked up friends on urbandictionary.com!
person 2 - Now why don't you go get some!!!

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Friend

1. One who loves another, especially one who feels sexual love.
2. A sexual partner.
3. A person who is cosmopolitan, considerate, random, intellegent yet childish when convenient.

You're such a good friend!

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