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I've got a dig bick

You that read wrong

You read that wrong. I've got a dig bick

by Eddie the Head May 16, 2022


I've been shafted

When your on fifa and put loads of good players in a SBC that you could of used for something else then you get dogshit out of it

"Alright I'll but in 94 Muller in, 96 Donnarumma etc..."
*Opens pack*
"Oh ffs I've been shafted and just got 92 Fofana

by Bigcock15inches September 2, 2022


I've slacked tech

When you're too lazy to fix the job yourself, you simply Slack the tech department to make the problem go away.

"Hey Noah, are the screens fixed yet?" - "I dunno, I've slacked Tech"

by Mikhailwh November 15, 2022


I was fucking all of the women... But I was just, uh, oh so miserable but now I've learned my lesson, guys

Oh, yes, I was really just sooooo miserable while I was fucking all of the women but NOW... NOW I've learned my lesson, guys. I see now that what EVERYONE should want... Is just one... That's what we should all do from now on, right guys? We should all just agree to just not do the thing I did... Because it was soooo bad for ME AND WOMEN... I just didn't understand! Right!? I just didn't get it but now I DO get it and I was just oh so sad... Now that I'm dome doing it we should just all agree to not do the thing I was just now doing a minute ago, right? I was such a fucking scumbag... For doing that... You don't want to be a scumbag, do you? I mean, I'm not anymore because I improved... You know you should probably improve too, right? I was just oh so bad for doing that... BUT NOT ANYMORE! Not anymore... Now I'm fine... But it was just oh so bad for me to do that... YOU definitely shouldn't want or do that because then you're an evil psychopath, right Jordan? Right? But I'm not a psychopath anymore am I Jordan? Even though I was just there doing the thing that the you said makes people a psychopath, right? The thing that never changes or goes away? I was doing that but now I stop so Jordan will let me hook myself up to his trough... Right Jordan? Isn't it terrible the thing I was just doing there a second ago? No one should seek to do the thing I just did because it's just so bad... Come on guys! We can all improve together! We can all stop doing the thing I was doing!

Fat-cock former atheist convert "I was fucking all of the women... But I was just, uh, oh so miserable but now I've learned my lesson, guys"

Hym "Yeahyeah, I've heard it all before dipshit. It's the same fucking story for all of you. It's like a fucking incantation. Say the magic words and you're absolved of your sins. I'm supposed to sit here and fucking praise you for doing a thing that you now think is wrong. 'He's so humble now (and not before)! He really has learned his lesson!' đź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Źđź‘Ź And this is where Jordan chimes in with his bitch-ass and says 'Now, you can't fucking say you wouldn't have done the thing so something-something wisdom so you have to forgive him now because something-something incest cult' We hate excuses... Except when we can get a charlatan to make them for us. Then are excuse are all that matter, right? I make excuses? Bad. He does a thing that is bad. Here comes captain fucking delusions of authority 'Something-something excuses for this fucking guy' like a fucking cuck. Daddy steps in to save his fucking fat-cock son. Whatever, right? Just shut up and do the fucking incest ritual with the whore he fucking reemed out."

by Hym Iam March 3, 2024


I've been me

This is what you tell people when they try to tell you who you are and they are attempting to get you to second guess yourself.

Leo: "You know you just don't seem to understand what is happening with this. You are acting strange about this."
Leighia: "Leo, I've been me. Don't start that. It won't work. You are sippin on sus and it ain't helping you."

by von groovy August 9, 2024


I've never killed a man

If someone says this, they most definitely have killed a man.

"I've never killed a man."
"That's fucking cap."

by Dumb Bitch Juice Addict July 31, 2021


I've Broken

It’s never, “good job, you won all your games again!”

It’s always, “next time…” or “you can do better if...”

It’s never, “are you ok?”

It’s always, “Stop being a baby”

Your sister yells, “Go away, I don’t need you!!”
It’s “Its ok Hunny, calm down”

But when you say, “can I try one more time?”

it’s, “Well fine, I’m just trying to help”

Why

“Mom, I’m sad because someone is bullying me at school…, I don’t feel I’m enough for this world”
“Not again! You can’t have the same problems as your sister.”

“Hunny, your sister is having a hard time at school, be nicer to her, maybe do her dishes today”
“But mom, I have volleyba-”
“THAT ENOUGH, BE NICER, BE BETTER, BE perfect”

Perfect, that’s a funny word.

per·fect

“having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.”

Ok I can do that

Clean the house. Walk the dogs twice a day. Do the laundry. Make the beds. Make dinner and lunch.

That’s perfect

“Chloe, can you please help me, it’s your day for dishes and I’m cleaning the rest of the house”

“Later” or “no”

No, That’s the easiest word in the human language, yet so powerful.

I can't do this anymore, I've broken

by cassydassie November 9, 2020