Hedging

When a hedgehog performs edging

A:"Ron's hedgehog is disgusting"
B:"Why so?"
A:"We were watching a movie at his place last night,
when his hedgehog started edging to me!"
B:"Oh, he was just hedging!"

Hedging

The act of rubbing ones head almost to comepletion

"I almost went over the hedge while getting the best hedging of my life last night"

Hedge bottom

The bottom of a hedge.

“Oi Tony, your mum looks like a hedge bottom mate”

happiness hedge

When a fan places a wager against their favorite team in a game or other event. This causes a win/win situation for the fan. Either the fan’s favorite team wins or the fan win their bet.

James: I bet on the Nuggets to lose.

Jake: but aren’t you a fan of the Nuggets?

James: yes, but if they lose, I want to at least get paid.

Jake: ahh, the old happiness hedge

Kyle: true dat

hedge fund

Not to be confused with grass money, this term refers to a separate financial account that a homeowner maintains to cover the costs of products/services to keep his shrubbery tidy and healthy.

Burglars tend to target properties with tall/dense shrubbery that they can crouch behind and hide, so you should always keep a healthy hedge fund to ensure that your bushes stay trimmed and transparent.

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Hedge

A trimmed bush. i.e. trimmed or groomed pubic hair.

"I met someone last night at the bar - and wow - did they have a lovely hedge!"

Hedge

To trim someones pubic hairs while performing fellatio. In Paris you can get a Topiary Hedge.

He was clean, tidy and satisfied after the Hedge was trimmed.