Dead Laptop Syndrome

The condition of having a laptop whose battery is continuously dead. Usually caused by laziness and neglecting to move the charger to the current workspace.

Dave: *Opens Laptop in Important Business Meeting* Excuse me folks, my laptop appears to be suffering from "Dead Laptop Syndrome" if you will excuse me while I go get the power cord.

Attendees: *Face Palm*

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post punk laptop rap

The self-created genre that MC Lars describes his music as.

MC Lars is the originator of "post punk laptop rap"

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Laptop-Sticker-White-Liberal

A white person who appears to be liberal in theory but is secretly racist, homophobic, ableist,classist, etc in practice.

Someone who can quote Audre Lorde and has a “Believe Women”, “BLM” and “Abolish ICE” sticker on their laptops but will refuse to actually believe women of color when being told that they are using their white privilege to harm rather than to heal.

People who pretend to be woke by putting virtue signaling stickers on their laptops but do not actually stand for those values when it comes down to it.

Example:

White Person: *does something racist*

Person of Color: Do you have capacity to talk about why that felt racist to me?

White Person: No, also I’m not a racist.

Person of Color: Okay, when will you?

White Person: It’s my “boundary” that you stop talking.

#SoundsAboutWhite

If you believe in systemic racism why do y’all act so furious and defensive when people of color express to you personally that something you did was racist?

Like how do y’all Laptop-Sticker-White-Liberals believe all the science and numbers and history of systemic racism but the buck stops when someone expresses you’ve personally been racist it’s just suddenly unfathomable?

Racist actions can happen whether you intend for them to or not. You can’t just deny something is racist to a person of color and shut them out just because it’s too uncomfortable for your fragile white ears to hold onto. And it sure as hell isn’t a boundary to silence queer brown voices post you hurting them.

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my laptop's battery

the smallest thing in the world. Smaller than ur brain. And mine.

my laptop's battery is very small.

Gaming Laptop

Something to play your favorite game, spore on.

I just got my awesome Gaming Laptop from Walmart, now I am ready to play spore at a hair tingling 39 Fps.

Laptop effect

Same as the Iphone effect, but with a laptop.

guy 1: "Guys, save the table while I'm going to get some food."
(while waiting, one friend takes out their laptop to fill the blank, then another, then another)
(the other comes back, sits, feels awkward because of the silence)
guy 1: "Ah, that laptop effect is killing the conversation, just stop!"

Frosted Laptop

When I put doughnuts on my laptop its a frosted laptop mmm good.

Are those REALLY Entemanns chocolate frosted doughnuts on a laptop? What are you thinking? Is that the new Frosted Laptop?