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Mall Monkeys

The webcomic by Eric Drobile who kicks all ass, as well as his award-winning funny ass comic.

hey faggots, go read mallmonkeys. you havent even been there!

by mallmonkey October 4, 2003

50๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mall Cop

Contrary to popular belief, not all mall cops are power hungry people who think they are police officers. If a mall cop is an asshole, it's because he has to deal with people who try to ridicule, insult, & degrade him every time he goes to work just to do his job & make some money.

The job of a mall mall cop can actually be quite frustrating. Aside from dealing with wannabe gangster bitches who think they're funny, you have a list of things that you don't get paid enough to do, such as:

-Drive around slowly while everybody & their mother crawls across the street
-Help idiot parents find their idiot missing kids. This happens DAILY, and makes me instantly like those parents you see walking their kids on leashes like the dogs that they are.
-Respond to potentially dangerous fights. News flash, getting paid $10 an hour is not enough for me to risk my life trying to save some wannabe thug from getting his ass beat just because he doesn't know how to talk to people.
-Write long ass reports every time we do something.
If a mall cop takes you out or gives you some shit, GOOD! You're probably some punk ass teenager who deserved it anyways.. You disrespectful little twat.

I am a mall cop, none of us particularly enjoy our jobs that much and we definitely don't think it's glorious. Most all of us are trying to work elsewhere, and a decent amount of us have military experience (including myself). A job is a job.

Teenage Wannabe Gangster Idiot: *points & laughs* "Haha MALL COP!!"

Mall Cop: *points & laughs* "Haha UNEMPLOYED!!"

by MallCopSuperstar October 8, 2011

259๐Ÿ‘ 104๐Ÿ‘Ž


pacific mall

Pacific Mall - Located at Kennedy and Steeles, it is known to every Chinese person living in Toronto. In there, you can find anything from jewellery,CDs and DVDs,and up to rice rocket car parts. BEWARE: when driving there, be sure to watch out for mid-aged Chinese women who cannot run stop signs, and civics plastered with "MUGEN POWERED" stickers that sound like a lawnmowers and have engines with displacement less than a 2L Coke bottle.

"Yo!! I found Kung Fu at Pacific Mall for 5 bucks"

by j-lo March 30, 2005

44๐Ÿ‘ 14๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mall Ninja

A term used in the firearm community to describe an individual who is obsessed with tactical, paramilitary style firearms and modifications, particularly firearms composed mostly of plastic. Such individuals are usually un-experienced novices who compulsively overpay for weapons and accessories not worth their weight in dog crap because such items looked cool in movies and video games.

Jeff: "Dude check out my new AR-15. Its got quad rails, a flashlight/ laser combination, a dummy grenade launcher, a bayonet, a telescoping stock, and an ACOG scope!"

Matt: "Dude check out my .30/06 Remington 700 with a custom walnut stock and a Leupold scope. I can kill a deer at 500 yards with factory ammo! Can your AR do that?"

Jeff: "Uh, No..."

Matt: "Didn't think so. Admit it. You're a damn MALL NINJA!"

by Piecemaker June 22, 2010

487๐Ÿ‘ 214๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mall Grabbers

Those whack-ass fools that walk up and down the mall with their skateboards... but they're holding them by the trucks.

What would posses a chump to do this: poser ass bitch!

"Shit a whole mess o' mall grabbers just rolled up to the shop!!! lock the doors and ruuuunn!!!"

by Driesle and Gwime February 7, 2009

32๐Ÿ‘ 9๐Ÿ‘Ž


marina mall

A place where people meet up to make-out, have their first kiss & have fun ;)

Hey, wanna go to marina mall on Thursday night?

by Anonymous Weirdo :) January 19, 2020

8๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Mall Cop

A security guard in a private property, such as an office building, mall, hospital, hotel, museum, store, etc. As soon as they greet you, they sometimes say, "Can I help you?"

I got thrown out of the Tucson Mall for a day by mall cops for filming the elevators there because they thought of it as suspicious activity.

by GageTheDictionaryGeek October 6, 2020

10๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž