Midwest Baptism

When you are driving on a two lane highway in the Midwest and a plow is going the opposite direction and sprays your windshield and vehicle with slushy snow such that you have to run the wipers on high.

“I was on my way to your booze-mas party when on highway 19 got a Midwest Baptism”

Midwest Vertigo

The strange sensation one feels when it looks like it's 70°F outside, but it is actually only 45 or 50.

I looked out the window and it seemed warm, but was hit with Midwest Vertigo when the cold air blasted me in the face.

Midwest Paranoia

When it's the beginning of spring and the weather says it's warm out, but because of the horrible winter you just had you don't believe it's actually warm and so you put on extra layers.

The weather man is saying it's 65 degrees out, but I got that Midwest Paranoia so I'm gonna wear a jacket.