phantom fingers

When you've typed your password on your keyboard countless times so that your not paying attention and it's in your muscle memory, that's phantom fingers.
When you've done your locker combination so many times that youre not entirely sure what the combination is but you know how your hand moves that's phantom fingers.

Kid A: "So how did your date go with Lisa?"

Kid B: "It was fine. I fingered her, but i've done it so many times I've just got phantom fingers for her man."

Kid A: "...I could do it for you..."

14👍 1👎

Phantom Ejaculate

When a male is receiving penile stimulation in the dark and climaxes. Afterwards, the lights are turned on and no traces of ejaculate can be found...

Giver: Did you cum??
Receiver: Yes... This is odd...
Giver: WHERE IS IT??
Receiver: I DONT KNOW!!!
*Giver checks pillows, blankets and walls*
*Both give up, never finding the ejaculate*
Receiver: I suppose this was a case of phantom ejaculate...
Giver: I guess so...

14👍 1👎

phantom poo

When you have a poo, you feel it come out, but when you go to flush the toilet, (and of course examine your "modern art") there's no shit there!

Woah, so freaky. I just had a phantom poo!

122👍 25👎

phantom jizz

this is where your jacking off and when you climax your so into it with your eyes rolled in the back of your head, you know you felt the jizz shoot from your dick but now you cant find where it went. and your frantically searching everywhere because you dont want your parents to accidentally find it.

phantom jizz

29👍 4👎

phantom text

A text that you swear you got. Either by feeling the vibration on your leg, or hearing your tone, or in the worst of cases both. But when you check your phone you are left feeling cheated.

A texting miscarriage.

Guy 1: "Dude, let's do something"
Guy 2: "I texted those girls I met yesterday, I think they just responded. Let me see what they said... Oh nevermind, it was a phantom text..."
Guy 1: "stfu man, nobody likes you."

40👍 7👎

Phantom Spiker

A male who removes a clean glass from a cupboard, rubs his genitals inside then places it back in the cupboard for an unsuspecting victim to receive a spiked drink

Angela enjoyed her spiked drink while the phantom Spiker looked on

Phantom Period

When a girl feels like she’s getting her period even when she’s not on it.

Jessica: Rachel ugh I feel like I’m getting a Phantom period again. I feel it dripping but I’m not even on my period! I don’t get it for another two weeks.
Rachel: Ugh! I know right, it always makes me stressed out that I got my period too early!