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*Notable* French-only military victories include:
1) The 100 Years War
2) That's it.
The Crimean War doesn't count. Although the French played an important war, the primary players were the British and the Russians.
William the Conqueror of Normandy (William the Bastard as he was then known) was most likely of Celtic or Viking descent, not actually a Frenchman.
Napoleon was actually bad for France, it was worse off after he was finished with it than it had been. At least it was somewhat respectable before. (Although the French people were better off under the psychopath Napoleon than under the incompetent French royalty)
Indo-china...That was as pointless as the American attempt later on.
And Kung-fu Jesus, losing 50,000 troops over fourteen years is better, not worse, than losing 90,000 in less time.
France sucks. Get over it, France.
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When a guy takes a trumpet, shoves it in a girls vagina as far as it can go. Then he blows into it making it tickle. He then takes it out, cums in it, making the girl suck it out.
Nick: "Dude i just got done giving Kelly a french horn drill."
Ant: "Really?! I did it to Hannah the same day."
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When you say Let’s Speak French you actually mean I love you and let’s fuck.
Your my best friend Let’s Speak French
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Please excuse my subsquent phrasing. Normally suffixed by 'but', as in Ferris Bueller, circa 1986, "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond."
Excuse my french, but I'm so fucking lame I can't even quote John Hughes films right.
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French fries allotted to the person picking up lunch for a group of coworkers.
"I can't wait to collect the french fries tax from my coworkers' fries on the way back to the office."
"Hey, Some of my fries are gone. Ohh had to pay the french fries tax."
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The act of ruining a perfectly good TV show with a terrible "twist" during the series finale; referring to the eyeroll-inducing "twist" during the series finale of How I Met Your Mother, where the entire story of how Ted met his children's mother turned out to be an unconscious attempt to ask his children if he can date his ex-girlfriend Robin again. Ted then shows up at Robin's house with the blue horn from their first date/the first episode.
"Man, I used to love that show, but the series finale was such a blue french horn."
"I can't believe how they blue french horned the TV show like that!"
"Remember when that entire season of Roseanne was just a hallucination? What a blue french horn!"
"They thought they were bringing the show back full circle, but really they just blue french horned the entire thing."
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