Random
Source Code
Random
On the 24th of December when the Danes do their homegrown ritual of drinking awful beer and have coitus with pigs.
Man, I can't believe it's danish christmas already. I haven't even bought my pig yet.
When santa cums in a girls mouth instead of coming down the chimney. Santa slides down your throats instead of the chimney.
Last night was a crazy Christmas Eve party. I think I experienced Christmas in my mouth because my mouth was nasty and Clayton sure didn't get anything from me.
That one guy who likes to think he's spreading Christmas cheer but in reality he's trying too hard and failing in the mean time
On Christmas Eve you get together with another special someone. You then wake up on Christmas Day and something just ain’t right. Surprisingly you find out you have acquired the “ Christmas clap.”
Dayum Shaunita, you were with Kwantrell last night. I’m glad you made it for Christmas dinner. But don’t sit down at the dinner table with that Christmas clap.
Proposition a woman for sex while she's on her period.
"Hey baby, why don't you toss that tampon aside and decorate my Christmas tree."
"Um...why are you in the women's restroom?"
A figure of speech meaning that you are being such a concealed person of the LGBTQIA+ Community (known as "closeted") that your metaphorically sitting on stuff at the back of the closet, AKA seasonal decor. (See also "you should be pretty fashionable with how long you've been in the closet")
"Everyone kept wondering why Alex never talked about their personal life, but we all knew they were so far in the closet they were sitting on Christmas."
When you use a sawzall with a dildo head to insert into a vagina for pleasure at 3,000 strokes per minute.
Before I returned my sawzall I gave her a Christmas Uzi.