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when you wanna up your dick game so u shove ur mEatY cock in a toaster and toast the bitch
dude i was so drunk last night and i woke up with a case of toasted penis
When a man wears really tight shorts. So its like his bits are on show.
Loving the new penis rack on beckham, leaves nothing to the imagination.
A pre-nsfw-purge Tumblr holiday where men would post nudes
Now a widespread meme where people rejoice in the old times
“Travis, put your dick away, after the Tumblr purge there’s no such thing as a penis Friday!”
When a girl gets done sucking you and try's to kiss you afterwards.
Girl: all done baby
Guy: wow thanks
Girl: "tries to kiss guy" babee why won't you kiss me?
Guy: because girl, you got penis lips
When a male is unable to maintain an erection for the duration of sexual intercourse, It may start off hard, but undergoes a physical transformation similar to that of dry pasta boiling in water, ending up with the rigidness of a noodle.
John had too much whiskey on his date with Kathy and ended up with a case of pasta penis in bed.
when one "pops the question" by exposing his dick with wedding ring on the tip of his pecker.
if answered yes the other must orally remove the ring off the cock.
if answered no the ring must be used to jerk off in front of the other.
Girl 1: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IM GETTING MARRIED.
Girl 2: oh my gosh how did he propose
Girl 1: well it was a penis proposal.
Girl 2: a what?
Girl 1: so we were in the car driving home when he all of a sudden whipped his dick out.
Girl 2:.....
Girl 1: but on the end of his GIANT dick was beautiful diamond studded wedding ring, so then i blew him to get the ring off.
After you nut so many times, the orgasm is dry
Me and that bitch Shanda went so many times I had a penis cough