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It's like watching paint dry, but smells like ass usually. Also beware of abbundance of free time.
Boss: What did you get done?
Worker: It was like watching trash cans dry?
Boss: What?
Worker: You know what I mean.
Boss: They are still wet though.
Worker: Exactly that's why I've been smoking for the last 5 hours I don't know why they take so long.
Everything can kill you, Even paper! EVEN AIR! doesn't matter what it is
If used correctly, You get killed.
Alex: Did you know that everything can kill you? Just think for a moment on how many stuff can kill you.
Max: Sheeeeeesh man, I know right!
To boil can vegetables so long that they lose the can taste out of them. To make can vegetables taste like fresh vegetables.
Oh Baby, can green beens are good. You just gotta boil the can out of them first.
Can you shit pink, meaning its a no and never going to happen.
Someone: Can you do this for me?
Me: Can you shit pink?
The first thing your wife says to you when you come home drunk.
<Robert> *Staggers in drunk*
<Mary> Can you tell the time?
<Robert> *Blatant confusion*
Mom: "I can go to sleep."
Kid: Ohh! Thank you for agreeing to review my work.
Sleep = work
What every Asian mom would say after eating food made by someone else
Me: *trys to enjoy some pizza*
My Asian mom: I can make this better