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lucid's pet turtle

an annoying ass fucking bot in the iamlucid server who everyone wants to kill.

person: "bless my aim"
lucid's pet turtle: "yeah that dude's never getting mod"
literally everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH

by PDuctions May 18, 2020

3๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Navajo Turtle Pie

When getting a blowjob from a man with long hair, part his hair down the middle and pull each side around the waist, then tie a knot in the hair, just above your ass, to create a harness.

Don't rub my hair - I was giving this guy a blowjob in the bathroom at the Kylie Minogue show last night, and he totally put me in a Navajo Turtle Pie!

by Adolph Fabulous May 24, 2011

9๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Frightened Turtle Effect

Another term for shrinkage. When the male genetalia becomes withered from immersion in a cold fluid.

Dude this water is frezzing
I know i've got the frightened turtle effect over here.

by Blaker April 7, 2006

8๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


turtle syndrome

Women who are impaired by an ugliness so powerful it is overwhelming. A victim who lays their eyes upon one is afflicted by such great lengths of agonizing pain they must turn away. They have very short necks, and sunken in faces. A picture speaks a millions words, a picture of a turtle woman only brings tears and possibly sinister laughter. They are known for leaving pussy stains in their granny panties.

Me and my buddies passed by women suffering from turtle syndrome and decided to steer clear because we would rather have practiced abstinence for the rest of our lives than touch them with a ten foot pole.

by maverick05 December 11, 2009

5๐Ÿ‘ 47๐Ÿ‘Ž


Flying Awkward Turtles

this happens when a situation is so awkward if the turtles weren't flying they would cut the tension and all hell would break lose. However, if the tension is cut an immediate mob of more flying turtles, awkward turkeys, awkward peacocks and regular awkward turtles start to surround the situation. If there is a silence from the awkward situation for longer than 5-10 seconds then a giant Awkward killing shark comes along and eats everything in one bite, thus returning everything back to normal.

I was buying condoms in the sex isle at the store the other day, and my girlfriends dad walked up and started having a conversation with me about her. When he saw what i was buying, flying awkward turtles started to swarm above me. Eventually they cut the tension and then a mob of turkeys, peacocks and more turtles started to swarm. The awkward killing shark never came...

by G-money777 May 17, 2011

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Turtle Neck Sweater

A round fluffy item worn around your neck for attraction of Zebras, Monkeys, and Pumas. Other wise known as the 'Turtler'.

Random Guy says:

"RUN! GO GO GO! The monkeys are coming down to hunt you because of your Turtler!"

"Great Turtle Neck Sweater you got there man."
- Eager customer says

by usage of time management April 5, 2011

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


baste my turtle

wash your genitals (male)

A turtle's head retracts much like a penis does. During ultrasound examinations, male gender is said to be seen as the "turtle sign" because the penis looks like a turtle head and the scrotum resembles the shell.

Dude, I've been sweating all day. I've got to go baste my turtle before I go out tonight.

by Ritaroo2 June 14, 2008

4๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž