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Cute Grandpa

The male version of cute hag.

A pubescent male whom possesses child-like features (not to be confused with femboys or crossdressers, sissies aren't allowed here). Not as strict as cute hags, because masculinity is a beautiful thing, cute grandpas are only a nice addition to it.

So, what does it take to qualify as a cute grandpa? Here's the list:

🎀Face🎀 ~ Just like cute hags, this is essential. Having a neotenous face is everything.

🎀Hair🎀 ~ Anything that isn't bald, has dreads, an afro and karen hairstyle. As for facial hair and body hair, shave it if you don't have a bara build.

🎀Race🎀 ~ Mostly any race can meet the cute grandpa threshold, asains usually stomp on all of them though.

🎀Body type🎀 ~ Ideally anything that isn't obease. Fit will be favored over the rest. Bara builds can sometimes outdo average fit grandpas, Kevin Kaslana (from hi3rd) for example is the perfect combination of both.

🎀Voice🎀 ~ Voices are the most flexible part, any voice will do as long as it isn't feminine.

🎀Personality🎀 ~ Of course, you can't forget about this. Generally speaking, timid, kind-hearted, introverted and melancholic are the most desired personality traits. Bad ones such as sassy, extroverted, arrogant, mean-spirited and aggressive are desposable. However, there are some exceptions with the bad ones, but it is usually the former that wins.

🎉If you check all the marks on this list then congratulations, you've obtained cute grandpa status!🎉

Einstien: I'm sorry, but you completely lost me when you said "masculinity is a beautiful thing" lol. You were being far too harsh on women, and this definition is even more bias than the last one. Also, the fact that you wrote this like you're on Tinder and not on Urban Dictionary has me in tears!

moebarabitch: It's true though, it really is beautiful! Men are objectively better, cute grandpas only double down on that statement. Men (especially bara men) were made for sex, and hags were made to be in the kitchen. "More bias than the last one" Tell me what definition isn't biased on this site, lmfao.

Einstein: You have the worst takes ever. So not only are you a barafag, you're also sexist? Why am I suprised, considering every definition you made? If women weren't made for sex, why do they have vaginas? You know, a sexual organ made for reproduction?

moebarabitch: Good counter-argument, however, did you even bother to take a second at deconstructing my name? Since your reading comprehension is lacking, allow me to do it for you: moe = cute, which I value a lot, (hence the definitions I made) bara = masculine burly men, which I also value a lot, bitch = i'm a bitch (self-explanatiory). I don't hate hags, I just believe in order for hags to unlock their full feminine potential, they must strive to become cute hags. It's a cakewalk for men because as i've already said, and will continue to say until the day I die: masculinity is a beautiful thing.

by Autismo_Manifesto March 20, 2023


cute as hell neighbor

Girl that has the room right next to yours in a hotel room. She is super cute and you want to smash and treat her right. Dreams of Hollister clothing because she is Caucasian, but also Portuguese.

Hey bro did you get a look at the cute as hell neighbor in room 555?

by "MADMAN" June 9, 2022


Too Cute Tuesday #TCT

Every Tuesday is cute picture day on social media. This includes photos of kittens, kawaii cheeseburgers, and pictures of Tuesday Weld.

<picture of a french bulldog puppy all wrinkly and pudgy > #Too Cute Tuesday #TCT Beetches!

by More than Fun September 16, 2015


ali level cute

the highest level of cuteness

friend 1: does this look cute?
friend 2: it's ali level cute, buy it!

by Megan Fucking Anderson January 15, 2017


your dog is cute

she wants the D

her:YOUR DOG IS CUTE

him:ok when am i coming over

by beeeeeeeeeeegbmgrt April 14, 2020


Cute Queen

Cute Queen is an internet girl that loves a guy called Helmet. Helmet wishes he can marry her but she wants him to RELAX however their relationship is very cute.

Cute Queen, How are you today?
Queenie, I need a cutie like you.

by Helmet ;3 May 7, 2018


Frat Cute

Being cute in a sense of dress, but not in a physical nature.

His polo made him look Frat Cute today

by tallkid457 October 26, 2012