Black Jesus

This is the real Jesus. Not to be confused with Mr. Jesus, YOUR JESUS, or Mickey Mouse Bullshit Jesus. This is the Jesus that you should thank for taking care of mediocre things in your daily life!

Shawn: So what is the deal, are we friends or not?

G-Sylce: I swear to Black Jesus is you pull this shit again, I'm going to cut you with my scissors... DRAMA

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jesus boots

The best damn kind of boots there are

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Jesus Bar

A bar located in the disabled toilets which non-disabled or disables uses may grip in the event of a bad bowel movement, grog bow, the shits etc. Users can then let a "jesus!" rip while taking a dump and clenching the bar.

"I took a massive dump ! It was like I was shitting a knife, thank god for the Jesus bar in the disabled toilets"

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Jesus wet

A measure of wetness such that even Jesus Christ would not be able to walk across the wetness.

Example Michael's sister's panties are Jesus wet!

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Jewish Jesus

The Jesus that beats all other mother fucking jesus's

*Black Jesus = ok
*Christian Jesus = LOSER
*Jewish Jesus = Amazing!
*Asian Jesus = Buddha

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come to jesus

Originally an emotional experience that is life changing, it has evolved to mean a serious argument, one that better result in a change of action or else.

My husband and I are going to have a "come to jesus" over this remodeling job.
or
I'm going to have a "come to jesus" with that kid about his drinking and partying.

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BLACK JESUS

An exclamation used when blankets are pulled over the head and nothing is visible.

* pulls sheets over head, screams in a muffled voice*

"BLACK JESUS...!"

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